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My Humorous Observations About Lazy People |
IntroductionShopping, I absolutely hate doing it! So the other day I'm walking through the supermarket, loading every kind of protein I can find into my cart. We're talking steaks, turkey, chicken, you name it, I'm throwing it in! Now, usually I don't even notice other people around me. And up to this point I hadn't either. Most of the time I am dreaming up a new and devastatingly hardcore workout. Then I will type whatever comes up into Beyond Failure Magazine. This day, however was different then others. The whether was hot and everything seemed to irritate me. As I was walking through the store a loaf of bread fell from my shopping cart. As it hit the floor, I was awakened from my daydream and slowly came back into reality. My feet stopped moving and I took my hands off of the shopping cart. I looked around and everyone seemed to move in slow motion. I was completely overtaken by the hideous site that laid before me! Countless groups of out of shape people were shopping. Guys without a trace of muscle walked around in tank tops. Women who haven't seen the gym in years wore tight fitting outfits. I frantically searched for just one person who cared about their body, but alas, it was to no avail! Then, to top it all off, a man in his mid 20's, completely decked out in Hawaiian clothes walked by carrying a gut huge enough to block the site of his own feet out! Then it hit me! All these people actually get up in the morning and look at themselves in the mirror. How though? How can they do it? I came to two conclusions. The first is that they are just to lazy to drag themselves to the gym. Or secondly they are simply oblivious to the fact that their bodies are absolutely horrible! I believe that the answer lies in one or perhaps a combination of both. Either way, this conclusion led me to write this article. Which is based on my observations of not only lazy people who are in self denial but also based on the fitness industries that prey on their feeble weaknesses. Abdominal Devices! Just when I thought I had seen every ab roller infomercial available a new one comes out! I don't quite recall the name. It was something along the lines of the Torso Terminator. I'm eating dinner and I left the remote control on top of the T.V. I had done a leg workout earlier in the day and I wasn't budging. Their first ploy was simple. The narrator asked; " Are you tired of doing those annoying crunches? " As he is narrating they showed the most out of shape, fat, beer drinking, lazy slob that they could dig up doing crunches. Then the narrator exclaims " Well thanks to the Torso Terminator You don't Have do Anymore! " Suddenly the picture changes to a lean and tanned fitness model using the ab device while a cool breeze eloquently blows her flowing hair back! At this point I begin laughing hysterically! How can you not laugh at a scheme so obvious!?! My favorite part of the commercial was when the narrator explained how the Torso Terminator was not just an ab device but a total body workout capable of replacing an entire gym! " They go on to prove this by conducting a study conducted by a respected doctor in the fitness industry( I wonder how much they paid him? ) ! He goes on to say that he tested all the main exercises that we use in the gym and compared them to their ab device! Here's what the lower body part of the chart looked like! Lower Body Effectiveness Chart
At this point I just shook my head. Then I laughed to myself because I could just see all the top heavy gym morons ordering this ab roller device! Heck, any device that gets them out of the squat rack is the machine for them! But how ridiculous is that? How can they legally get away with telling people that an ab roller is more effective at building the lower body than the squat!??? I will tell you how! Because Billy Bob doesn't want to take his out of shape behind to the gym! He wants to waste his money on this garbage. Get Great Abs Without Ever Having To Leaving The Couch! Out of every infomercial I have ever seen this one takes the cake! First let me describe the machine to you. There is an electronic box and out of this box comes electric cords that have suction cups attached to their ends. You place the suction cups onto the targeted muscle group you want to work and presto! The machine works the muscles out for you! Is that beautiful or what? The best part of the commercial was the illustration they used to show the machines effectiveness! I kid you not, they showed Billy Bob again, sitting on the couch with the suction cups attached to his massive flabby gut! Now as the machine worked his waste line slowly went down and down until he had a nice and tight six pack! And all the while he never got off the couch! Lets imagine for a moment that you are one of these lazy slobs. You are on your 10th slice of pizza and you see this commercial. What do you do? You pick up the phone and order it of course! Heck, you can have great abs just like Billy Bob and eat pizza and drink Beer while the machine works out for you! What will they think of next? I don't know but it will be tuff to top this one! Point System Diets I must say that out of all the gimmicks mentioned the new point systems are what grade on my nerves the most! These are diets that allow you to eat whatever you want as long as you stay within the diets point system! You've seen the new commercials. They start out showing a blown up picture of a fat, hairy slob! Then the person who took the picture and has now lost weight, rips through the paper that the picture is printed on and says, " I lost weight and never had to sacrifice the foods that I liked! " Proceeding this completely idiotic display all lazy and out of shape people who are watching the commercial say, " Hey I can do it to " They get all siked up because they can lose weight and never have to hit the gym or stop eating pizza! The fact of the matter is that these diets just plain do not work! All they do is tell people what they want to hear. Which means more sales. Basically ethics are thrown completely out of the window! I remember talking to a client of mine who went to a seminar which was run by Jenny Craig. She said there was one fat lady there who asked if she could have Kentucky Fried chicken's Pot pies on this diet. The counselor said that she could, but that it would use up all of her points for the entire day. Following the counselors answer the fat lady replied excitedly and said; " Great! I can not eat all day and be fine, as long as I can still have my chicken pot pie! " This story absolutely made me sick! The funny thing is that 80 percent of the people who go on these diets end out gaining twice as much as they lost! This is because: A. If they were lazy enough to go on such a diet, they don't have the will power to stick to it anyway! B. Because they were not properly educated they will binge instead of properly resetting their metabolisms. Dieting takes discipline and self sacrifice. There's no bones about it. If a person has none of these qualities they will never reach their goals physically and that's a fact. If you do have a weight problem. Then you are going to have to bust your behind to correct it. Its that plain and simple. Conclusion To The Article My
point in this article was simple and to
the point. Numerous people of the human
population are lazy!
And a large portion of the fitness industry
plays to this strength. For
example, the first video that came out on
the
shelves was 8 minute abs. Then a
competitor came out with 5 minute
abs! Of course the 5 minute video
was
going to have more success! The
fact is that most people don't want to
get off the couch! So fitness
industries will offer them machines that
will only make them workout for 3
minutes a day or as the electric ab
product states you can still sit on your
couch and get a great workout! If you notice I have made this site for hardcore athletes. I will never tell someone. You can get in shape the easy way! No, I say if you are willing to bust your behind in the gym then you will have a tremendous body! That's what this site is all about. How to develop a great body, the hardcore way! Because, quite simply put, there is no easy way out! But the rewards we get for being hardcore are endless! We are more confident and have way more fun then our lazy, fat, hairy counterparts! Not to mention we do not wimp out or make excuses for ourselves. No, we get the job done! Period! Yes my friends, you are a part of an extremely elite group of human beings! Not phased by the word pain, or by the temptation of food without nutritional value! Is it difficult! Yes! But I wouldn't have it other way. I for one enjoy being a part of the brutal world of bodybuilding. Jacob Wilson © ABC Bodybuilding Company. All rights reserved. Disclaimer |
