how do you deal with others when your trying to diet?

Silvan · #1 08-04-2007, 10:57 PM

I'm mostly having problems with my in-laws. Most of you probably didn't read my thread in the training section, but i've been out of it since january almost and just started getting back regularly a few weeks ago and on a cut. I've done decent this week but still cheated more than I wanted to, mostly thanks to others not helping the situation.

wednesday night I had a hockey game so I wasn't home around the usual dinner time. So the fiancee when to her mom's for dinner and mom to be in law said she'd get me some dinner for after hockey so I don't have to cook. So I get back around 9, and at 9:30 she comes over with a large pizza. I ate one slice, with of course temptations to eat more but I managed not to.

Thursday we get invited over to dinner because father-to-be-in-law is out of town..she makes big fattening sausages with cheese in them as "hot dogs" and then has a big box of donuts for dessert. SO I had one of these 'hot dogs' but declined the dessert even though she offered at least 5 times.

TODAY arrgg. They invite us to a bbq/pool thing, and of course..there's more hot dogs, thankfully there were also chicken skewers and salad so I had that..but it was a family gathering and they drink a lot so of course I had basically every family member offer me beer throughout the afternoon.

May not sound all too bad to some of you, if I was bulking I would be complaining less, but it's pretty hard to diet properly when others don't seem to care. I've told both my fiancee and her parents that I was on a diet..they wouldn't understand the term 'cutting' but still they Always push and push more.

Dzoni · #2 08-04-2007, 11:10 PM

Well first of all your fiance should be in to what ever your interests are and understand what you're doing so at least you have someone on your side.

Second of all, why is it hard to decline something. It's easy, you don't want it, and that's final. They are probably trying to be nice and offer you thinking you're embarrassed or something to eat in front of them.

Pre cook meals, that way you can eat a meal before you go to these kind of things, and if you do have cravings, you won't fit much in. Just tell them "I'm not really hungry, thanks". Or what ever.

Protein shake with some sort of oil or nuts. It's going to be a 2 way street here, yes you're trying to diet, they don't understand it. You are going to need to put more effort in to get your meals prepared and eaten before these kind of events, since you already know what kind of food they tend to serve. And if there is a salad there, grab a bit of that and done.

It's not going to change in an instant, that's who they are etc, after few weeks time, they will see that you're serious about it and maybe they will not be so pushy.

Good luck.

Birthright1 · #3 08-05-2007, 12:49 AM

Yeap Dzoni is right, I prepare all of my meals for the day as soon as i get up. This way i have everything ready and i have no excusses. When i get invited over to someones house for dinner i let them know that i will not be eating there food and i bring my own, except for my close buddy who always has what i need to eat. As far a pizza well you found my weakness so i cant fault you there. I try to stay 100 feet away from it whenever possible. Kinda like a restaining order. HAHA. LOL Stay focused if they don't understand well F'em.

Grizzly · #4 08-05-2007, 04:40 AM

You have to want it bad enough, and pre plan your meals.
If you want it badly enough, you will be confident enough to decline the foods that do not fit into your diet. Those that are worth it will try to understand where we are coming from and those that don't, screw em. (tough with family members I know..)

On the other hand, if one were to follow the Anabolic Diet, then these events are easier to squeeze into your lifestyle =)

Stay focused and confident in your drive to reach your goals, and this problem will be easier.

Saying 'f-it, i don't care what anyone thinks' is the first step IMO.

RawIron · #5 08-05-2007, 05:52 PM

It's the worst when your family members are mostly all over weight and they think you are weird for wanting to stay in shape. Some of my family think if a 23 year old guy doesn't eat 3 hotdogs and chips and drink soda then hes anorexic.

My cousin was trying to lose weight and gain muscle so he came to me for advice and I told him what and when to eat. His mom offered him hotdogs for dinner one night so he said no. Then she said, well we have doritos and cookies. He said NO! Then she said, well we have ice cream (this is all completely true and this conversation is typed exactly word for word). Finally my uncle yelled at my aunt and told her to stop offering horrible choices for her son who is trying to lose weight. Haha, so many people are oblivious. All she buys are hotpockets and fruit loops and stuff like that so he eventually gave in and started eating junk again, even though I helped him get a decent body. What a waste of time, haha.

I think that since pizza and hotdogs are so common, people who are uneducated in personal health belive that it is fine to eat pizza and hotdogs all the time. It is not good for you, but since everyone else is doing it, they think its ok. A hod dog and soda for lunch ever day should not be normal. When my cousin told me that his mom offered ICE CREAM for dinner as an alternative to a hotdog I couldn't believe it. It is very hard to stick to a diet when crappy food is all around you, but I manage.

Adam Knowlden · #6 08-06-2007, 12:07 AM

Hey Silvian, it is annoying I know. You just have to tell them what your goals are and how those foods are not supporting them. Don't convey a "better than you" attitude for eating healthier, just tell them you're dieting. Most people don't understand what cutting means, so just tell them you're dieting, and no thanks. If you have to take them aside, and explain to them then do so. The thing is, eating like this is more of the tradition of eating together and fitting in and less about the actual food type. So, try bringing a dish you've prepared for everyone. Then you can say, "I'm dieting, so I cooked a little differently. Here is some for you guys to try too". I think this will allow you to participate without seeming like you're stand offish.

Like Dizoni said you have to have to have to pre-plan your meals or you will cheat. Don't try to wing it.

huskerwr38 · #7 08-06-2007, 01:00 AM

[ QUOTE ]
So, try bringing a dish you've prepared for everyone. Then you can say, "I'm dieting, so I cooked a little differently. Here is some for you guys to try too". I think this will allow you to participate without seeming like you're stand offish.

Like Dizoni said you have to have to have to pre-plan your meals or you will cheat. Don't try to wing it.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is a great idea!

Silvan · #8 08-06-2007, 04:39 PM

I guess i'll just keep telling them. Hopefully eventually it will 'click' in. The bbq party thing I wasn't all too annoyed it. it's the pizza after my hockey game (cardio day).

However the fiancee just had our baby so now she'll be on a 'diet' as well and back to the gym so that should definatly help.

RuSerious · #9 08-07-2007, 02:00 PM

I've never had a problem dealing with others and what they want to eat on a bulk, but on a cut it can be very difficult to say no buffalo wings for me. On a bulk you can justify one dirty meal here or there as extra calories but on a cut it can ruin your day. Just keep it up man and people will understand why we do this.

Dzoni · #10 08-07-2007, 09:57 PM

If its a weekly thing or something they do on a special day. Say, Sunday dinner. Then adjust your diet to that, and plan your re-feed meal that night. So you can have what they have, tone it down a bit and theres your re-feed meal for the week. Makes you happy, makes them happy.

Hopefully it works out for you