Advice for rain man

[Rain_Man]

That makes sense. thanks dzoni. Im pretty clueless when it comes to women.

[thirsty_shepard]

Another thing is talk about her. Try to find things out that interest her. If you're doing it for you and you alone, women, at least the ones worth having, will pick up on that ASAP. Don't dig too deep, keep it light and try to make the convo revolve around her. If she starts asking questions about you, that's a good sign, but try and redirect them back to her.

Another thing I like to do is not date anyone girl too seriously before I really get to know them. If she's not comfy with you taking her out and paying for it, suggest you take her out and she pays for her own things. This will help her understand there isn't anything you want in return except a good time and to get to know her.

[Rain_Man]

Man that one of the big problems i have i run out of stuff to say and talk about. I need some good convo lines to speak about. What do u guys recommend. I don't want to start with. " wow u have a nice body".

[Dzoni]

Bro, what do you talk to your friends about? I don't think the first thing you tell your friend is that he/she has a nice body. Lol, talk about random (!@#$%^&*). Let her do most of the talking and just listen. Apparently it works.

To this day, 3 years later. I am still able to talk to my GF for hrs without having any awkward silence or anything. It's just cause the conversation flows. If you don't know what to say, just ask her a question that you wanna know (how many siblings you have, crap like that).

[l0stsheep]

First of all: Listen! That's the best thing to do. If you are listening to what the girl is saying and not just WAITING FOR YOUR TURN to talk, you will have so much better conversation. So many guys miss this. This also comes in handy when you try to strike up a conversation. Be discerning; look at what she is wearing or what she is doing. If she is looking at movie or something that you like, ask her what she thinks of it, and say why you like it.

I dunno, just pay attention; this will give you ideas for conversation points.

Second, Make her want you. If you go up to girl and make yourself available, you aren't desirable any more because she has already gotten you. But talk to her, listen, be funny, and then let it be. Don't ask her out, just say bye. She'll go home, remember what a great guy you were and then SHE will start to wonder if you like her.

Oh, and look her in the eyes, girls know when you are looking somewhere else!

[Dzoni]

Awww, do we HAVE to look at their eyes [img]/forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Just kidding. Great points LS

[Rain_Man]

I found out recently that making good eye contact really really makes them blush. [img]/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img].

Still more work to go, Im getting good at that listening thing. Was brutal before.

[Gnats Knackers]

Rain man, the only thing you have to worry about is smiling, not stupid smile but smiling, it shows your relaxed.

[aaronethc]

[ QUOTE ]
yea there this girl that comes into my shop now and again, i thinks shes dead hot, real fit. I'd love to hook up with her but dunno if shes with someone or not, i dunno if she even likes me or not, dunno how to ask her out.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think your mistake is that you are over examining the issue too much. IT is hard sometimes to approach girls random. but they are going into your shop, so talk to them about whatever your shop is about. Dont overthink it and ask for a number some time, just do it. yeah you are gonna get rejected, everyone does, but use the rejection as a positive and learn from it so next time you dont make a mistake. all guys get rejected 9 out of 10 times but the more you try the more you will suceed

[William Wallace]

I don't really endorse self help books but for shyness and conversation pointers, give Leil Lowndes a try. In particular, "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships" I'm an introverted computer geek, but there are some pointers in this book that really help to start a conversation and keep one going.

Also, being a bodybuilder, you'll appreciate "The Power of Full Engagement" by Jim Loehr. In order to grow socially (as well as physically, mentally, and spiritually), you have to get out of your confort zone. A bodybuilder knows that if you lift the same weight and use the same routine over and over, you won't grow. In fact, that isn't enough even to maintain. You atrophe. The same is true socially. If you stay in the same circle of friends, never go to social events, never take a chance in creating a new relationship, etc. you won't grow socially as well. Like weightlifting, its hard at first. It can even hurt like hell and cause a few injuries, but after a while, you will get used to it, master it, and have to go to the next level.