friends, I need your support

[ecliptic007]

Hi All!
I am going through some very difficult trials right now and I need some words of ecouragement. I have been a 'Christian' since I was about 7 years old....however I didn't begin actually living like a Christian, until about a year ago. I renewed my faith and came to terms with the fact that God is all sovereign(sp). I repented of my sins and gave my life to him, via prayer. I have gone through many a great changes over these pasrt 12 months. At first, I lost interest in some of the vulgar music that I would sing along with, in the past. The changes in me just got more drastic from there. I quit smoking, etc, etc. For the past 3 weeks, I have been on the 13-week diet and exercise program, which is very difficult b/c I was a borderline alcoholic(it didn't control my life, per se...I just desired to drink every single night [img]/forum/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] )

Anyways, until about a week ago, I had a wonderful fiance, who helped me with all of my struggles. However....she has not yet come to God and she says that she is not ready to. Because of this (and a few other non-religeous related things) she decided that she wanted to "be friends". This sucks because she is really a very nice compassionate girl. I hope the lord softens her heart so that she can invite him in. I pray for her every night.

Since that happened, about 2 a weeks ago, I have decided to obstain from pre-marital sex (which includes masturbation). What makes all of this so difficult is that I don't have her there for support. It's getting really hard to stick to my guns. We are still friends, but she has moved out and gone to live with her family while she goes back to school.

I feel like God sent me to your website (about a month ago) for a reason. Since I have been on the diet/exercise program, I have been too busy to worry about drinking (or sex, etc) I no longer sleep-in because I have a hang over....I get up at 8 am and go to the gym before work. When I get home at night, I have to cook my 5+ meals, for the upcoming day, do laundry, pack my gym bag, etc, etc. This seems to be a blessing, in that it keeps me occupied. I have also found time to go to church on Sundays and try to read and learn the Word during the week.

I still feel like something is missing. I am having trouble keeping my patience, as God re-works me into a new 'peice of clay'.

ok, I'm done for now [img]/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

thanks for listening

Adam

[War5475]

Absolutly glorious!. I know you dont want to hear that cause you are haveing problems right now. But what you wrote is such a testament to his power!!!!!!

All that aside. I know what your talking about. Im 30 years old live alone. And as a christian its hard. Denieying the flesh in so many ways is hard. From food and drink to sex these are some strong temtations.

I first want to say you need to find someone from church you can hang out with and visit and call. Does your church have like wednesday classes or other days they meet or groups these things help. Being around like minded people is a really great boost.

All of this change can be a great witness to your fiance. Its hard for her to understand and accept. And it will be until she gets her relation ship with God right. But it might not be time for her. It could take days, weeks, years before this happens. But your life will be a great influence in her life. Remember this because you are a very important peice of her puzzel.

I will pray for your life and the people in it. I hope you can be that shining light for him. Im just glad to hear your story because it just reminds me of the awsome power he has to change peoples lives.

Call on me anytime.

Keith.

[ecliptic007]

Thanks for the response [img]/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[l0stsheep]

I, too, am glad to hear about the direction in which your life is going! Remember: Everything that God does in your life is for your good. (Romans 8:28)

I think you first need to look at this verse:

"You did not choose Me, but I chose you... " -John 15:16

I think many times we get the idea that we are going through these battles of trying to please God while trying to survive in the world in which we live. Oftentimes I think I need to follow through on the decision I MADE to be a Christian and show God that He can trust me. While all the while not wanting to let Him down. We need to listen to what Jesus tells us. We aren't the ones who chose Him. He chose us. Out of the whole world, Adam, God chose you to be His son. And don't you think He knows all the things you want and all the things you struggle with? Of Course! He chose all of us not while we were saints, but when all of us were sinners!

So first, don't be ashamed of your earthly desires or sins. Not only does God know about them (he called you while you were IN them) he understands(Jesus was a man who experienced many of the same battles we fight with. See Luke Chapter 4). You say you pray for her, which is good; it is good to pray for those who don't come to Christ, but you need to also pray for yourself. Pray to God that His will will be done in your life and that he will give you the strength to be the man you (and He wants you) to be.

You see, the promise of Christianity isn't that we won't have hard times. But that God will be WITH US THROUGH those hard times. You need to tap into that resource that he is giving you. Everything you are seeking to do is righteous and good, so he is more than wanting to help you. Let him!

Ephesians 3:16-17 says. " That God...may grant you to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts."

Look at that verse. It says how GOD and his SPIRIT give the strength. Jesus doesn't welcome someone to his family and then leave them alone to clean up their act. He wants to do it for you! Or at least help you!

Now this might not be what you want to hear, but I think God has a person in mind for all of his children to marry. And I don't think it is coincidence that your fiance want to just be friends when you were getting more serious about you walk with God. I think it is a noble cause to try to be with someone so they will be converted, but this is not what the Bible tells us we should do.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 says this: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with the devil? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.' Wherefore 'Come out from among them And be separate' says the Lord."

Sometimes we don't have the ability to make this decision so God will help us, which might be what happened with you. But why would God do this? Because he is more concerned about your eternal address than your earthly happiness. God's main concern is where you spend eternity. Look at it this way:

There was a famous illustration done where one person is asked to sit on a stool while another person sits next to the stool on the ground. The first person, then, is asked to pull the lower person up. He can't do it. He's not that strong. The second person, then, is asked to pull the higher person down. The higher person gets pulled off the stool easily and falls to the ground.

This illustration shows how hard it is for a Christian(by their own means) to pull a non-Christian up to a Christ-loving life. But how easily it is for a non-Christian to pull the Christian down to a world-filled life. This is easy because our flesh naturally pulls us to the world. I think you need to remember that God will not let anything risk where you spend eternity, even relationships. He knows how easily it is for us to get pulled down and may be protecting you from that. Honestly, I don't know what God is doing. But like I said, remember that He is working for your GOOD!.

Finally, patience is a must. It is very difficult to try to find peace when we feel our world is falling apart and we want everything to fall into place and we want it all to fall into place NOW. But life, and the Christian life especially, is like climbing a mountain. You cannot jump from the bottom to the top. And, if we are wise, we use our past to help us build to the future, to the peak.

But have peace in knowing that you are not alone in this. God is working in you, for you, and through you. What is happening is not a mistake. I would continue in prayer; this is a great asset to you. And continue in God's word. War had good advice; find a church and get plugged in. Meet with people and put yourself out there. You will be amazed at how much it helps to be around other people who are going through similar things you are going through.

"Be still, and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

[ecliptic007]

Wow..thanks for info/advice. That is a lot to think about. You guys are great. I hope that we get to hang out together in heaven, one day [img]/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]