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  #21  
Old 08-18-2005, 02:09 PM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

BadBlood -

First off, I commend you for wanting to help her!! Comparing her to others will not only make her feel bad, but add to the problem and worsen the eating disorder she already has. Trying to inform her about proper nutrition and working out is not your place either at this point, but supporting her in seeking the help she needs is. This is a Psychological disorder and you do not have the degree to solve her problem.
She may not think she has a problem and she will resist help and there's where you need to really encourage her to see a pyschologist and even do the footwork..talk to her parents about this b/c they need to be more aware of it then her friends at this point.
Her reaching goals right now should not even be a concern for you or her, but overcoming her eating disorder so that she can live a healthy lifestyle for the right reasons.

I could go on and on on this soap box, but I won't. Please don't take anyhting I said as being rude I just know the how bad of damage can be done in these situations. I struggled w/anorexia and bulimia for years and it has taken a long time to overcome it and at times it still haunts me!! So please, seek professional help b/c you cannot solve this problem for her nor can she do it for herself!!

Good luck and God bless!!

Feel free to PM me w/any questions you may have!!!
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  #22  
Old 08-19-2005, 04:16 AM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

I try, she keeps pushing away, her parents tried to help her but she's just that **** stubborn, they ground her, take away her phone, the TV, even at one point forbid her from leaving the house and sometimes her room, still didn't work.

I made a big issue about lots of things before she left, including her lifestyle (I couldn't see her because she blacked out for a while which messed up both our plans), I'm very upset with her and told her we're gonna have to have a "talk" when she gets back.

So, I'll try to think of something before she comes back in the begenning of September, there was this website on anorexia that I just wanted her to read, and see if she can relate to the symptoms herself, and she'd simply say "No, because I know I'm not like that", she didn't even bother checking it out, because she knows she has problems...
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  #23  
Old 08-19-2005, 10:29 AM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

She's in denial.
You can't change who she is and the choices she makes.
You need to let her know that what she's doing to her body is affecting the way your relationship is working. Let her know that you are there to support her and that she really needs to get help. Tell her that this is causing an emotional rollercoaster for you.

You need to go beyond the parents. A counselor maybe, a third party that is not emotionally involved. I am afraid to say this but if things continue the way they are, not only will she hurt herself but your relationship will suffer to the degree that it will affect you emotionally in a deeper way. I don't believe in ultimatums but this relationship is draining you emotionally and after a while, indifference could settle in when you feel you don't have anything else to give or anything else to do.

Get counseling. Get it now or not just her health but your relationship will take a wrong turn.

Amazon
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  #24  
Old 08-19-2005, 10:34 AM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

Amazon is right on.
She is in complete denial and she won't change unless she hits rock bottom, which will hurt everyone around her as well, or she is helped with counseling. you definitely need her to begin counseling. everyone around her needs to give her support, show love but make it clear she needs to do it. You cant make her do anything, but do everything you can to get her professional help, and pray for her
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  #25  
Old 08-19-2005, 10:58 AM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

Excellent advice above and yes, the only time most people w/any sort of problem seek help on their own is when they hit rock bottom and that's a very dark and lonely place to be.

This will not be easy for you either b/c her emotions are going to be so up and down and she may be angry at you during all of this, but will eventually realize you love her and are helping her. My boyfriend at the time took me to a counselor and I resented him so badly for it b/c I was fine and nohting was wrong with me...WRONG!!

You can have a "talk" with her and it won't help much, but possibly anger her more. I know this, I've been there!! It's a very complicated illness and no matter how much you may want to, you cannot fix this for her.

You can let her know of how much this is affecting your relationship, but depending on how much involved in this disordered pattern she is, it may not make a difference. It's an obsession and nothing will get in the way of your "success".

This is just going to be a hard and complicated process and maybe you could seek out professional help w/out her so that they may be able to help you get her into speak w/them b/c she will definately rebel against that idea!!

My prayers are with you and her!!
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  #26  
Old 08-19-2005, 11:59 AM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

Ah, thanks a lot everyone, I realize this isn't the place for this discussion, so sorry if I dragged the convo a little bit.

Anyhoo, she IS away at the moment, so will have time to give this a lot of thought..
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Old 08-19-2005, 02:22 PM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

[ QUOTE ]
Ah, thanks a lot everyone, I realize this isn't the place for this discussion, so sorry if I dragged the convo a little bit.

Anyhoo, she IS away at the moment, so will have time to give this a lot of thought..

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a bb forum,yes..but we are all also here to help each other out in other areas. This is a serious issue and it was not drug out by any means!!!

Keep your head up and pray. Things will and always do work out for the best. Never hesitate to turn to ABC for any sort of guidance or advice as there are so many wonderful members and mods here!!
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My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I glorify God in it by walking in divine healing and divine health. - I Cor. 6:19
  #28  
Old 08-20-2005, 11:39 PM
Grim001 Grim001 is offline
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

This may be an idealistic method, but it might work...

First you need to find out what has motivated her actions. Ask exactly which changes she wants to make to her body. Then ask about how she was trying to achieve them and why she chose those methods. For example, she may say she wanted to be thinner. So, the method she chose to achieve that was eating less and running. She may have chose this method because it's the "common sense" method to "get thinner." It is important that you find out what her source was so that you can show her how unrealiable it is.

Then explain to her exactly what effects her methods will actually have. Have they worked? No. Is she healthy? No. Explain why they didn't work, and why it's unhealthy. Explain that by not eating enough, her metabolism is slow, making it impossible to burn any fat, and causing her to feel like she has no energy! Explain that the body needs adequate amounts of food or there are some very negative consequences that could cause long term damage. It is important that she understands that the method of "exercise more, eat less" will have her looking like a starving child from Etheopia, or an anorexic woman.

Once you know her goals and explain why the way she's been trying won't work, you have to explain the correct way to do it, why it will work, and why it's healthier. For example, if she wants to burn fat, she needs to make sure she doesn't lose muscle at the same time to avoid the "starvation" look! So explain that the bodybuilder's cutting diet, in which you burn fat but maintain muscle, would be the perfect way to go.

So, that's my advice. It may seem like common sense, but if you are very methodical about it you may be able to convince her. If she won't listen to reason, counselling may be the only option...
  #29  
Old 08-22-2005, 10:29 PM
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

I wouldn't know personally (since I haven't seen the before/after pics [img]/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) but I heard Jessica Simpson got in way better shape really fast by doing cardio and lifting at a gym for the Dukes of Hazzard movie. And apparently, (again, I wouldn't know for sure [img]/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]) she made her butt a lot bigger by doing tons of suats. I'm not sure if this is what she is going for, so maybe if you get her in the gym, you should get her in the squat rack, but don't tell her that her butt might get bigger.
  #30  
Old 08-24-2005, 03:16 PM
littleamazon littleamazon is offline
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Default Re: Good example of women with great bodies from weight lifting, but are NOT musclebound?

[ QUOTE ]
I wouldn't know personally (since I haven't seen the before/after pics [img]/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) but I heard Jessica Simpson got in way better shape really fast by doing cardio and lifting at a gym for the Dukes of Hazzard movie. And apparently, (again, I wouldn't know for sure [img]/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]) she made her butt a lot bigger by doing tons of suats. I'm not sure if this is what she is going for, so maybe if you get her in the gym, you should get her in the squat rack, but don't tell her that her butt might get bigger.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, if Jessica Simpson's hiney is huge..I am the queen of England..LOL.

Amazon
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- St. Frances Xavier Cabrini (1850-1917)
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