Getting the Girl to the Gym

[X-Factor]

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And help her fix up the diet, just make suggestions like "Thats so bad for your..." Stuff like that comment on how bad stuff that she eats is, not directly, just out of the blue if you see her fav fast food, just say "That stuff disgusts me..."

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I would be careful how you say these things to her. It can come accross as criticism. My ex, used to critize everything I put in my mouth and that lead to his comment "Feed that A$s" I got tired of hearing the critism and it lead to fights. Not the best way to help out. I am talking from experience.

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I know what you mean Kyra, i'm afraid you may have taken that the wrong way. What I meant, was make factual statements about food and stuff, let her know the benfits of eating healthy, say how much better you feel. Tell her that it's hard to believe that people eat stuff like mcdonalds (not while she's eating it) make it a general comment to yourself. or even say I would really like you to eat healthier so I could have you around longer for me and the kids when we are married and older [img]/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]!!!

I know what you mean Kyra, and Profly is dead on with his advice on wording stuff perfectly. It has to be done, women are way more sensitive that us, and their iterpertation of things can be way different. She can't read your mind (thank god for you) but if you don't explain your reasoning it could be hurtful. if she has a put on weight, and you guys are on a very comfortable level you could say something regarding health (health is your best bet) but don't be blatant.

Women are like cars you should be able to love an italian hottie, or a big SUV....only then will you have the right mindset for such comments...

[nothwang]

el trigueno, if you are latin, you should inherently be more smooth and romantic! just joking! i can say this because i am latino.

[el trigueño]

oye papá....si tu me hubieras visto hoy con mi novia....tu sabrías que soy suave como leche fresca.

[el trigueño]

i'm not going to force her. i mean, i don't talk about this to her everyday or anything. we've in fact played together in activities like soccer and park walks etc. it's just some itchy little nag inside of me would like to see a firmer stomach. it's not going to change the way i feel. two of some of my best friends. they've been overweight their entire lives. my one best friend (who let me be his best man)weighed in at 400 plus!...but its never put our friendship on the rocks. or even my other friend whose been chubby since birth. it hasn't affected us. so i don't expect it to affect my girlfriend and I. The difference is...is well....their is a physical attraction that exists between us as well.

my initial post stunk. i worded it terribly. now everyone will see 'trigueño' and say "oh that ego-maniac punk" [img]/forum/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[nothwang]

in some strange way i think i understood what you were trying to say in your first post. i don't agree with it, but i think i can understand. i hope you meant well.

first of all, don't think that you can communicate with your friends the same way you communicate and treat your novia. don't treat her like one of the guys. just because your friends were fat doesn't have anything to do with your girlfriend.

either you love her for who she is or find someone else that looks and acts exactly how you want them to be. this seems pretty shallow if you ask me. you can not change people. you should not want to change anything about her. you would not like for her to be doing this to you! treat her well or move on! con ganas como los hombres!

[Serendipity]

The problem with your original post wasn't your desire to get your girlfriend in shape, but that you had very specific changes in mind. It came off as rather creepy.

I also hope your girlfriend doesn't visit this site because if I ever found my husband describing my stomach as "mushy" he'd be sleeping on his dad's couch. [img]/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Someone mentioned making general statements about food, but I wouldn't do that because women read into everything and she'll know what you're trying to do.

I like the idea of planning physical activities. Going hiking, biking or participating in sports. Maybe tell her that YOU want to get in good shape and it would help if she were your partner.

Also, stick with positive feedback. When she eats healthy or participates in the gym with you, show her more attention and tell her how happy you are she came. It will work a lot better than being suggestive in any negative sort of way.

[sta63bmx]

Yes, any attention that might in ANY WAY be construed as even mildly critical will be processed by the Female Overreaction Computational Drive (or FOCD, which is what you'll be) and you will immediately be blamed for...

1. Her body faults (imagined and real)

2. Periods

3. Maxipads that don't stick

4. Cramping

5. Jonathan from The Amazing Race

6. The lack of romance in your relationship

7. Forgetting to buy her flowers for the two-month anniversary of your first kiss five years ago (you bast1d!)

8. Every other bad thing that has ever happened to a woman, ever, on the face of the earth, since the beginning of recorded human history.

9. ABBA

10. The glass ceiling

So just give up. Unless SHE begs for advice on how to change and wants you to help her, let it go, unless you want to be blamed for all the world's ills.

[kwood34]

Dude, you can't go there AT ALL. If you tell a girl she has amazing legs she will say, "whats wrong with my (I love Jesus!)?" Thats just the way it is. Now if you start talking about how she is soft, then you are really screwed. If most women can't take compliments, how are they going to take criticism? Its been my experience that you can only make one comment to a woman about her body and it is this.....

You are the epitamy of everything I am looking for in a woman.

-By the way, good advice Sta63bmx. That should be on a t-shirt or something.

[BrothaMan325]

me personaly. i dont want my girl at the gym, its my time. time to sort things out, talk with the fellaz, hammer out some problems on the weights.

my point is, the gym is different for everyone. she might not like the gym. maybe shes a hiker, or rollerblader. i have had girlfriends who love the gym, and who hate it. the key is finding a balance between the two of you that works. I.E- respecting eachothers differences and exploring eachothers shared hobbies. a relationship is 50-50 give and take. if you have a cool girl that you love, dont push to hard. she is who she is.

[X-Factor]

Yes, some good advice floating around here...Personally, whenever I compliment a girl (which I don't do, because if they deserve then they hear it all the time anyways, they just turn it off). But like someone said earlier if I compliment them and they say something along the lines of sure whatever...something like that. The biggest mistake guys make is pleading his case that it's true. I just say aright you're right (in a way that I think she's being stupid). This immediately causes them to accept it, it works wonders. Any guy that pleads his case is a chump, and is more of a self help recording than a man.

This is in response to the guys who say they can't compliment women.