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  #1  
Old 01-10-2003, 03:32 PM
Bearlysk8ing Bearlysk8ing is offline
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Default No support on the homefront

Hi gals! Ok, how do I get around this one?
Hubby is supportive of my skating and going to the gym in THEORY, but not in PRACTICE. [img]/forum/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] I have only been going to the gym (or trying to!) for the past two weeks, and already he is complaining that I am going too much. Today was the first day I go to go to the gym this week! I went to my skate practice on tuesday, and that was ok, because he is working then, but he is balking at me getting up early or going after work... We do work 12 hour days, so "after work" is 9pm at night, but still! [img]/forum/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

I have three skate practices per week, and one of them is mostly while he is still asleep! And I would like to go to the gym on the other four days. Am I being unreasonable?

I really want to make this work - I haven't been this motivated since the college gym was FREE and two minutes from my apartment! [img]/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

And no, HE WON'T COME WITH ME - he hates the gym!! [img]/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

???????????

I'll take ANY advice! (or commiseration, but y'all seem to be doing ok! [img]/forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img])
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  #2  
Old 01-10-2003, 04:23 PM
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

You might want to throw this out in the Athletes Shooting the Breeze forum for more responses. But anyway, I sure don't have any advice for you cause what you are describing sounds just like my EX-husband. [img]/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

He resented my always wanting to exercise, was not even supportive of my speed skating either. I tried getting him into recreational rollerblading and that didn't work either. And same as you, my ex-husband did NOT want to go to the gym. Believe it or not, he actually did NOT want to build muscles!! He just wanted to be thin. Well, the unhappy ending for us was that we ended up getting a divorce. And my current hubby, well, you've met him, he lifts WITH me and is VERY supportive of my speed skating.

Don't know what to tell ya. Try throwing this out on the ASB forum too for more opinions on the subject.
  #3  
Old 01-10-2003, 04:56 PM
Bearlysk8ing Bearlysk8ing is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

<blockquote><font class="small">Posted by: ***********:</font><hr> You might want to throw this out in the Athletes Shooting the Breeze forum for more responses. But anyway, I sure don't have any advice for you cause what you are describing sounds just like my EX-husband. [img]/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]<hr /></blockquote>

<gulp> It's not gotten that far...

[ QUOTE ]
Don't know what to tell ya. Try throwing this out on the ASB forum too for more opinions on the subject. <hr /></blockquote>


Done, and a response in record time!! [img]/forum/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]


and PS - yah, 2nd time around for you - ya caught a good one!! [img]/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
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  #4  
Old 01-10-2003, 06:26 PM
Sindaena Sindaena is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

Hey! No advice, just sympathy. I don't work - I stay home with 4 small children which presents it's own problems.(Like childcare is almost always my problem.) But I was able to work out some trade-offs with my husband. We now have a collection of free weights at home along with a bowflex (cause I can't spot as heavy as he can lift) and we get up bright and early and do the Body For Life workouts together 3 mornings a week. I also have a treadmill that my dad gave me for Christmas. My husband gets home early Monday night so I can do Tae Kwon Do once a week. In return, he gets two nights a week when he does stuff after work and I don't complain about putting the kids to bed by myself. Any other time I want, I have to arrange childcare for.

What exactly does your husband object to about you going to the gym? In what way does it inconvenience him? Does he just want more time with you? Time together is good of course, but better spent on a common hobby or interest (like fitness!) than vegging in front of the TV.

Elizabeth
  #5  
Old 01-10-2003, 08:03 PM
HardTrainer HardTrainer is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

Hello I think we all go thru something like that when we spend so much of our time trining. I Know its a life style
but try to find a compromise I did and it worked..I did 2
BB shows and said Id take a year off and just train. My wife is fine with that and now shes training with me !..
one other thing !.If you were like that before you were married then he should have some understanding of how you feel..If not then its going to be a lil Tuff for him to accept it. He needs to find something he enjoys as long as you both don't go over board !..Best of Luck [img]/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] H.T.
  #6  
Old 01-11-2003, 02:31 AM
GetPsycho GetPsycho is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

tell him to get his but off the couch and go to the gym with you. it can be a fun thing to do together.

he needs to understand that you have goals and apirations. have you explained this to him. is there an example you can think of that you can mention to him where he was spending time doing something away from you and you supported him.
  #7  
Old 01-11-2003, 11:14 AM
Serendipity Serendipity is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

Perhaps you could get him to bring the Gym to you, so you can work out from home.
  #8  
Old 01-11-2003, 09:13 PM
luvmypt luvmypt is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

I've been in your shoes. When I really began to workout regularly (5/days), hubby came up with every excuse why I shouldn't be going. i.e. If I went at 6 AM, the alarm was waking him up too and ruining his sleep. If I suggested I'd go after work, then he'd get mad because he would see me until 8 PM and didn't want to wait that long to eat! I asked him to join me but that was met with a resounding NO.

Finally, I just flat out told him. I love doing this, it makes me feel good, it gets rid of the stress, and I'm seeing physical changes that I like. I'm going at the time I want to go. If you want to come with me, fine but give it up 'cuz I'm not quitting just to make you happy.

He realized that I wasn't joking about this. He's quit the beefing for the most part, but he still grumbles every now and then about me making too much noise at 5:30 AM. If he gets me too riled, I just threaten to set the alarm for 3 AM and see how much sleep he gets.
  #9  
Old 01-12-2003, 05:38 AM
Philia2 Philia2 is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

Maybe when he sees the results from all your hard work, he'll change?!!!

My husband DO train in the gym but isn't really serious about the whole thing (he can lift one dumbbell and talk for hours...)
Luckily I have never had any problems with him telling me that I work out too much (he even said to me the other day that I need more biceps..... [img]/forum/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] ) BUT where we DID have some problems was when I first started for a competition preparation...... Ohhhh he couldn't understand that I needed to stay strict on my diet and we had several small confrontations about that one (even in front of a friend who wanted to invite us over for dinner and I said that I couldn't.... OR okey but then I would bring my own dinner...).

I took a little time but he understands today, maybe your husband needs a little time as well......
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  #10  
Old 01-12-2003, 06:34 AM
sicily1962 sicily1962 is offline
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

For me, this problem remains a problem even today w/ certain men in my life. Even my friends still act as if they are clueless when it comes to my lifestyle. They don't understand my dedication to my workouts and my nutrition.

My ex was horrible. He harrassed me or gave me the cold shoulder daily for years. He even went so far as to walk in to my gym on 4 different occassions just the year prior to my walking out on him (2yrs ago now) and embarrassing me and making accusations in front of the people there.
It didn't matter that i actually got my w/o's in and then home to eat and get ready for work even before he woke in the morning. Or that when i did go when he was home, that i was only gone 60-90min total depending on if cardio was needed, or that i looked better physically than i ever had.
It did not matter.
To be honest, he did not admit until just this year that he was jealous of me and my determination to train and better myself. He could not find that drive within himself.
But to me, it did not matter. The verbal brow beating and constant nagging was more than i could endure (and of course if always expanded into more things to the point that i never felt i did anything right) and after 12yrs, i walked.

This decision was totally my own.
It was by far the best one of my life and although i am not in a relationship, i am confident that i will meet the right man and he will share my love for bodybuilding and life...or he won't be the right man, will he? lol!

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