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Old 03-05-2012, 10:21 PM
xdisciplex xdisciplex is offline
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Unhappy I feel terrible

I'm tired of always being depressed and sick. Nothing makes sense.
I hate what I have become. I lost all which was important to me. I am everything I don't want to be. Years ago when my health was still relatively
good I was "only" depressed and struggled with anxieties and doubts. But now also my health has gotten so much worse more and more things showed up which can't be healed. Back when I was still working out I had a goal and a stronger will. After not being able work out anymore I became even more depressed and gained back all the fat I had lost before and lost the little muscle mass I had gained. I'm in such a terrible shape and I can't even do anything about it. I cannot go to the gym anymore and lift. I have too many injuries it wouldn't make any sense. Nothing in my life makes sense. It's all like a senseless sad story. Years ago I thought everything sucks but now everything sucks much more. I have no solutions and no hope. If I only had one thing wrong with me I could accept it much easier but I have so many things wrong with me it's like a bad joke. Christianity also doesn't have answers for me. Christians tell me things like you need therapy or you need antidepressants. But none of this stuff can heal me or offer hope. Therapy is a joke. I tried it. It was so empty and disappointing. As if telling an unemphatic therapist who only cares about his money about my diseases and about how I suffer from them changed anything. I go to bed depressed and wake up depressed.

I also don't understand why are there christians who claim they experienced God or that God appeared to them when they were despaired?
I have been despaired so many times and nobody appeared to me. God seems totally far away and unreachable to me. I feel like I'm in my own little
world of problems and God is millions of miles away in another dimension. I cannot even imagine how heaven is like it's as if it's not real and all that is real
is my problems.
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Last edited by xdisciplex; 03-05-2012 at 10:26 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:44 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such difficult times. Do you attend a church, if so have you considered speaking to one of the pastors? This way you don't have to worry about someone who only cares about your money. As far as antidepressants go I would only use those as a last resort; I was put on them in my teens, and when it came time to get off of them the with-drawls were horrible. When life isn't going well for me, or when I don't feel close to God I try to eliminate anything that distracts me from seeking Him (i.e., only listen to Christian music, read the Bible daily, don't watch bad shows on TV). Also just getting out and going somewhere where you can eliminate the noise of everyday life. I've gone in the woods; read the Bible and meditated for for few hours. Keep your head up and trust in the healing hand of God, and you always know you have your ABC brothers here if you need someone to talk to.
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  #3  
Old 03-06-2012, 03:26 PM
Wizard24 Wizard24 is offline
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Before I start my response I have 1 most important question: Do you pray?

Quote:
Originally Posted by xdisciplex View Post
After not being able work out anymore I became even more depressed and gained back all the fat I had lost before and lost the little muscle mass I had gained. I'm in such a terrible shape and I can't even do anything about it. I cannot go to the gym anymore and lift.
Just because you donít, or canít lift weights is no reason to be fat and out of shape. I would say that of all the people in the world who are not overweight, a vast majority of them have never lifted weights in their lives. Weight has more to do with diet than anything else. So you canít work out like you want too. Concentrate more on what you can control and learn to eat in a healthier manner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xdisciplex View Post
I have no solutions and no hope. If I only had one thing wrong with me I could accept it much easier but I have so many things wrong with me it's like a bad joke.
You are not alone in this respect at all. There are loads of people who have multiple things ďwrongĒ with them. Look at what Christ had to endure for you. Look at the punishment that Paul had to live through. Look at the persecution that the apostles went through and the horrible ways they were killed. Whatever your problems are, they are not so great that they have never been conquered by others before you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xdisciplex View Post
Christianity also doesn't have answers for me. Christians tell me things like you need therapy or you need antidepressants. But none of this stuff can heal me or offer hope.
Counsel can be very helpful, but you are correct in saying that it cannot heal you. I agree with Cory that you should NOT use antidepressants. Again they cannot heal you, but rather mask your symptoms while doing nothing to correct the problem. Only God can heal. Ask him for the faith to believe in His healing power and ask Him for a miracle of healing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xdisciplex View Post
I also don't understand why are there christians who claim they experienced God or that God appeared to them when they were despaired? I have been despaired so many times and nobody appeared to me. God seems totally far away and unreachable to me. I feel like I'm in my own little world of problems and God is millions of miles away in another dimension
This goes back to my initial question . . . Do you pray? If not, is it any kind of wonder at all that God has not helped you? Also, God WILL NOT appear to you as in a vision or some such nonsense. God will, if you are obedient to Him, and ask Him in faith, show His presence to you through answered prayer. That is why the most important question is . . . DO YOU PRAY?
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  #4  
Old 03-06-2012, 09:14 PM
xdisciplex xdisciplex is offline
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I have no clue what to do. Some christians say stuff like I should take antidepressants and others say not to take them. But what shall I do when I'm simply totally depressed and at the same time have to function? I cannot afford to simply be depressed and do nothing. I have to study and learn. Simply always saying you mustn't do this or mustn't do that without offering other solutions doesn't help me. No matter what I do it could all be a mistake. If I do nothing and try to do it without antidepressants it could be a mistake if I cannot do it, but taking antidepressants could also be a mistake.
One reason why I feel much worse is because I'm scared of final exams which are coming up which basically decide over years of studying. The fear and the pressure totally drags me down. My family also worries about me a lot and my father told me stuff like if I dont get the diploma then it's all over. I constantly feel like I'm standing in front of an abyss. It's really a very serious situation. I'm already pretty old and older than all others who study with me, in very bad health and severly depressed and haven't learned anything. I need the diploma to have a chance of ever finding a job. I cannot study something new for me it's all or nothing.

As for praying...
I have prayed for healing once. Many years ago I tried to get healed from something small. I "claimed" my healing and after that I was directly bombared with doubts. It was terrible. I couldn't withstand these mind games and after a few days I gave up and went to the doctor to get new medicine. I simply couldn't take it. And now my health problem are much bigger. Now I needed real miracles not just healings. I have at least one rare genetic syndrome but actually there are many more things which are wrong with me which I don't have a name for I just know that things are very wrong. My body looks like a mixture between Mr.Burns and a fat person. It's totally depressing. Even looking at myself in the mirror drags me down.

I have listened to thousands of sermons and teachings about how to get healed for years and years trying to find a way how I could get healed and I found none. All these teachers tell you is that you must have faith and must not doubt. Don't doubt or do without. How does that help me?
I have been struggling with doubts and ocd ever since I became a christian. How in the world could I get healed when in the bible it says that you mustn't doubt in your "heart"? I don't even know what that means. I cannot even tell if I have faith or not. How do I know if I have faith when I feel nothing or when I have all kinds of doubtful thoughts or fears?
I have also talked to pastors on the phone who say they understanding healing. I tried to make them understand my problems but they didn't. All the stuff they told me didn't help me at all. I was told to quote bible verses against fear but how does this help me? I quoted them and even as I did this I was afraid. I felt like a hypocrite. I also tried for many months at a time to generate faith. I read all healing verses in the bible daily for months. It did nothing for me. I didn't get faith this way. I also don't even know who's right. Some say God wants to heal others say God doesn't always heal. How do I know who's right? Everyone quotes verses from the bible and claims to be right. But even if God wants to heal how does this help me when I cannot receive it? Then I have no hope. I feel like a bug lying on his back. What hope do I have when God depends on my faith and I simply dont have enough of it? I dont even dare to pray anymore because even before praying I fear and think what if nothing happens? How do I deal with the disappointment? It's simply so hopeless. I have been in this situation for years now. No sermon,book,mp3 has ever helped me. Being told how crucial faith is and that you must not doubt only increases my struggles and the ordinary christians don't even understand these mental struggles. I have called prayer lines and been told stuff like either believe it or dont. This doesn't help me. I want to believe but at the same time I can't even tell how I know wether I have faith or not. For example if I pray then how do I know wether I even prayed in faith? I don't have a display on my forehead which tells me if I'm in faith or not. Then how can I even have confidence that I get what I pray for? And even if I pray in faith then what happens if the next second after praying I am bombared with doubts and fears? Is then everything over? I have suffered so much from all these questions and felt like getting a nervous breakdown many times. I simply have no answers. And those who I seeked help from also could never help me which makes me feel like a hopeless case.
Other christians say they get prayers answered or experience God. I don't understand why this doesn't also work for me. I have been to pastors to be prayed for and done all kinds of things to finally get a "breakthrough" but it never happened and I dont know why. I dont even know what to say anymore to God.
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We know what's right
We'll stand and fight, it's time to rise
Come on and see
The victory before your eyes

Last edited by xdisciplex; 03-06-2012 at 09:22 PM.
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  #5  
Old 03-08-2012, 04:10 PM
Wizard24 Wizard24 is offline
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Iíll make 3 points and then I am going to leave this thread b/c I can see where it is heading:

1. Donít worry about working up your faith. Itís not your faith anyway. It is the faith of Jesus Christ that God can put in you if you ask Him (Rom 3:22). Do you doubt that Christ had perfect faith in God Almighty? You, personally, donít have the faith in God that you need and you CANíT ďwork it upĒ. You CAN however, ask God that He supply you with the faith you need . . . and ask Him more than just once.

2.You need to own the fact that the problem is with you, not God or anyone else. Do you think that God cannot hear your prayers? Does He not know what is wrong with you, or is not powerful enough to heal you of your sickness? It is Godís will that you be healed. Jesus Christ was brutally beaten so that you could be healed (Isa 53:4-5). Therefore, if God can heal you, knows how to heal you, and wants to heal you, then there is only one explanation left as to why you havenít yet been healed. There is something that you are doing to limit God in this area. I cannot not tell you what it is, nor can anyone else on this forum. It is something that you need to figure out for yourself. Earnest prayer, meditation and fasting can help you figure it out.

3. You say that you have prayed ONCE for healing MANY YEARS AGO, and now you wonder why you havenít been healed. Let me ask you, if you fell in a well many years ago, would you have immediately screamed out, ďHELP!!!Ē and then shut up for the next few years patiently waiting for someone to, on the off chance, stick their head down the well just to see if there was anyone stuck down there? Sounds rather ridiculous doesnít it? More likely you would have screamed until you were horse trying to get anyoneís attention. Keep praying, donít give up. Scriptures tell us to pray without ceasing. Be diligent.

I wish you all the best.
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"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." - Galations 5:22-23
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  #6  
Old 03-08-2012, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wizard24 View Post
I’ll make 3 points and then I am going to leave this thread b/c I can see where it is heading:
Last thread didn't go anywhere either:
http://www.abcbodybuilding.com/forum...ad.php?t=93869

I also gave similar advice back then:
Sorry to over simplify - but read and pray, read and pray.
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Old 05-27-2012, 10:45 PM
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these problems are how a lot of people "find" god, god is always there, but sometimes you get lost in the wilderness, so these problems you have remind you to seek out god.

god does not need to seek you out because god is already there, but you need to seek god out that is the difference.
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Old 07-24-2012, 04:21 PM
adenine adenine is offline
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For years we've been conditioned to believe in and look for a God on the outside of us as an external power that oversees everything from the orchestration of the universe to the very minute details of our daily lives.

However my dear friend, the God that you are looking for is closer than you realize. We've all been looking for God in all the wrong places.

The Christ says we are to seek the kingdom of God first. Where else would God dwell except within his own kingdom?


"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33 (KJV)


That statement is absolutely paramount to understand and apply if we are to be transformed.

The Christ also tells us where this kingdom is:

"Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you." - Luke 17:21 (KJV)


So what do we have? The Christ is saying seek first the kingdom of God which is within you. Notice that it is the absolute first thing he says we should do.


But what does religion and tradition tell us? Seek your church, seek your pastor, read your bible, sing the songs, give your money...do everything else but seek within yourself.


Look at what the Christ says regarding those who discourage us from seeking within ourselves the kingdom of God:


"Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered." - Luke 11:52 (KJV)


Seeking and entering within ourselves is meditation. That is the key. It is through meditation that we are able to raise our consciousness level and rise above the things of the lower consciousness that hurt us.


Hope this helps.
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Old 07-24-2012, 04:33 PM
adenine adenine is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xdisciplex View Post
I have no clue what to do. Some christians say stuff like I should take antidepressants and others say not to take them. But what shall I do when I'm simply totally depressed and at the same time have to function? I cannot afford to simply be depressed and do nothing. I have to study and learn. Simply always saying you mustn't do this or mustn't do that without offering other solutions doesn't help me. No matter what I do it could all be a mistake. If I do nothing and try to do it without antidepressants it could be a mistake if I cannot do it, but taking antidepressants could also be a mistake.
One reason why I feel much worse is because I'm scared of final exams which are coming up which basically decide over years of studying. The fear and the pressure totally drags me down. My family also worries about me a lot and my father told me stuff like if I dont get the diploma then it's all over. I constantly feel like I'm standing in front of an abyss. It's really a very serious situation. I'm already pretty old and older than all others who study with me, in very bad health and severly depressed and haven't learned anything. I need the diploma to have a chance of ever finding a job. I cannot study something new for me it's all or nothing.

As for praying...
I have prayed for healing once. Many years ago I tried to get healed from something small. I "claimed" my healing and after that I was directly bombared with doubts. It was terrible. I couldn't withstand these mind games and after a few days I gave up and went to the doctor to get new medicine. I simply couldn't take it. And now my health problem are much bigger. Now I needed real miracles not just healings. I have at least one rare genetic syndrome but actually there are many more things which are wrong with me which I don't have a name for I just know that things are very wrong. My body looks like a mixture between Mr.Burns and a fat person. It's totally depressing. Even looking at myself in the mirror drags me down.

I have listened to thousands of sermons and teachings about how to get healed for years and years trying to find a way how I could get healed and I found none. All these teachers tell you is that you must have faith and must not doubt. Don't doubt or do without. How does that help me?
I have been struggling with doubts and ocd ever since I became a christian. How in the world could I get healed when in the bible it says that you mustn't doubt in your "heart"? I don't even know what that means. I cannot even tell if I have faith or not. How do I know if I have faith when I feel nothing or when I have all kinds of doubtful thoughts or fears?
I have also talked to pastors on the phone who say they understanding healing. I tried to make them understand my problems but they didn't. All the stuff they told me didn't help me at all. I was told to quote bible verses against fear but how does this help me? I quoted them and even as I did this I was afraid. I felt like a hypocrite. I also tried for many months at a time to generate faith. I read all healing verses in the bible daily for months. It did nothing for me. I didn't get faith this way. I also don't even know who's right. Some say God wants to heal others say God doesn't always heal. How do I know who's right? Everyone quotes verses from the bible and claims to be right. But even if God wants to heal how does this help me when I cannot receive it? Then I have no hope. I feel like a bug lying on his back. What hope do I have when God depends on my faith and I simply dont have enough of it? I dont even dare to pray anymore because even before praying I fear and think what if nothing happens? How do I deal with the disappointment? It's simply so hopeless. I have been in this situation for years now. No sermon,book,mp3 has ever helped me. Being told how crucial faith is and that you must not doubt only increases my struggles and the ordinary christians don't even understand these mental struggles. I have called prayer lines and been told stuff like either believe it or dont. This doesn't help me. I want to believe but at the same time I can't even tell how I know wether I have faith or not. For example if I pray then how do I know wether I even prayed in faith? I don't have a display on my forehead which tells me if I'm in faith or not. Then how can I even have confidence that I get what I pray for? And even if I pray in faith then what happens if the next second after praying I am bombared with doubts and fears? Is then everything over? I have suffered so much from all these questions and felt like getting a nervous breakdown many times. I simply have no answers. And those who I seeked help from also could never help me which makes me feel like a hopeless case.
Other christians say they get prayers answered or experience God. I don't understand why this doesn't also work for me. I have been to pastors to be prayed for and done all kinds of things to finally get a "breakthrough" but it never happened and I dont know why. I dont even know what to say anymore to God.

Regarding doubt, hold on to it brother. It serves a purpose. I say this because it is doubt that will someday allow one to discover truth. Religion and tradition try to get one to discard doubt and when one does that they will tend to go along with whatever that religion says. I say this from personal experience. Do not be afraid to question your own beliefs and really start to dig to get some answers.


It is why the Christ says:

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." - Luke 11:9-10 (KJV)"


There is no need for faith in God because faith is only required when someone is uncertain of something. We should not have faith in God because we should be one with God. At that point, we know and do not need to believe.
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  #10  
Old 09-25-2012, 12:35 AM
xdisciplex xdisciplex is offline
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Hi adenine,
what do you mean with meditation? What's this supposed to achieve?

Are you saying meditation is more important than reading the bible?

Not sure, but what you said sounds a little new-age to me.
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