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Old 01-12-2003, 11:10 PM
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

<blockquote><font class="small">Posted by: sicily1962:</font><hr>...To be honest, he did not admit until just this year that he was jealous of me and my determination to train and better myself. He could not find that drive within himself....<hr /></blockquote>

Same here, with my ex, only he admitted it during the divorce. He also could not handle the fact that I was/am basically way more athletic than he is. I never saw this coming from the beginning and as I got more and more into fitness, he just resented it more and more. So while I was making positive changes in my life to be in better physical shape, he fought it. Our paths just went in separate directions.
Old 01-14-2003, 01:34 PM
Cece Cece is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Toronto, Ontario
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

Am I the only one who thinks that this guy sounds a little controlling? A truly loving partner would recognize your goals and support you, not sabotage you. A real guy would wake up when the alarm goes off, wish you a good workout, kiss you when you leave, roll over &amp; go back to sleep.
Old 01-14-2003, 09:23 PM
wendyp wendyp is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2002
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Default Re: No support on the homefront

A "real" guy could also feel bad about not seeing his wife as much as he would like to. She did say they both work 12 hour days. That doesn't leave much time for a marriage. Sometimes couples have to compromise and adjust to each others new goals and that takes work.

I don't think she made him sound controlling. He could be, but I didn't get that impression in her post.
Old 01-14-2003, 10:00 PM
Elmo9286 Elmo9286 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 629
Default Re: No support on the homefront

it sounds like, shes working out 7 days a week + 12 hours of real work == the poor husband never gets to see her..

maybey you can cut back a couple days and to do a little more convincing him to join you.. maybey hell come around. And maybey hell like it when you start showing more benefits from the weight training ands hes like **** you have a nice body! ... ok im just babbling but those are two things..

and maybey you can do things to make him come to the gym sometimes.. like ("ill make it worth your while when we get home if you come to the gym with me [img]/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]")

Old 01-15-2003, 10:40 AM
Cece Cece is offline
Cece should change his/her status!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 111
Default Re: No support on the homefront

Does your hubby have things that he likes to do on his own or with his friends? And do you plan activities to do together that you both like? I know that working 12 hour days and not seeing each other is really hard, but if you do make the time to spend time together, he shouldn't feel cheated when you go to the gym. It is also the start of your new routine, so there will be some adjustment (i.e. not sleeping in, no "alternative" bed activities) but I know how hard it is to feel unsupported. Sure, I work 12 hour days (16 hours sometimes) and work out at least an hour every day, but I hardly ever feel like my husband and I don't see each other enough. And when we do feel like that, we have a date night. I guess that talking about things and working issues out and really making time for each other is the basic foundation in relationships.

I am hearing that Bearly feels that she is unsupported and unheard when she talks about her goals. Compromise is a good thing if you have a partner who is willing to compromise - which I hope that she has! Maybe some extra "hubby" time will make things better - and I think that Elmo is right - he'll see how amazing you will look and maybe he will join you!
Old 01-16-2003, 03:29 AM
fitness_gal fitness_gal is offline
fitness_gal should change his/her status!
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 192
Default Re: No support on the homefront

Really and truly, I don't know how your hubby looks, but it sounds to me like:
1. he is unhappy with himself
2. he wants you to be unhappy with him
3. he does not want for you to better YOURSELF cause he may feel that you may go out and find something else better than him.
4. he IS controlling.

The way I see it is do what makes YOU happy. If he decides that you guys can't be together because you want to go to the gym to better yourself, then so be it, he is NOT the one for you. I know that you may love him and all that, but what would you rather to be a Fat Lazy Slob and love HIM or to be Healthy and Fit and love yourself? If he loves you he will love you more for wanting to better yourself. He should be happy for you that you are taking the effort.
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