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Thread: Reincarnation
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Old 02-20-2014, 10:31 PM
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rickck48 rickck48 is offline
rickck48 is tryin harder!
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Alabama
Posts: 962

Originally Posted by Samael View Post
Hello everyone. Before you continue to read from here i wan't to warn that i'll share personal information, that some of you may find inappropriate for a hardcore bodybuilding forum. However, i apologize in advance and promise that i won't stress much on the things that i think will offend you guys. I also want to excuse me for my so-so English, it's not my first language. Ok, let me begin - I started my journey in fitness and nutrition as a really fat kid. At the age of 15 i weighted more than 90kg, despite the fact that i was taking part in every sport possible. At that time my parents were both obsessed with their business and the only person taking real care of me was my grandmother (God Bless You). She really know how to pamper me with food . At the end of that year i finally decided that it's time for me to do something about the situation, so i took my first membership at a local gym. At first i hated it ! Every second there was like torture for my body and mind. Needless to say i have no clue about nutrition, so i continue with my usual bread and fries diet. When i start reading more about nutrition the results started to come and it took me few months to really love it, and realise that it was more than sport for me - i was doing it with passion. At the age ot 18, year 2007 (graduating high school) i was in the best shape of my life - ripped and strong. I want to open a brace here and say that during my childhood i was always in front of my mates . I was doing projects in advanced classes and was really inspired to achieve great things in my life. 2007 was the last year to date during which i feel happiness. When the summer ends, catastrophic events happen in my family (i forgot to mention that my parents were and are both alcoholics) which i don't want to explain in details, but which affected my life tremendously in a negative way. I almost dropped out of collage and immerse in severe depression. Previously the most open hearted person you may know, i wasn't leaving my room for days, kept my phone off and destroyed my relationships with most of my friends and relatives. The only thing that i was doing and that probably kept me alive was lifting and dieting. But my mindset was now different, my workout were motivated by hatred, regret and anger. That turns my previous healthy passion into a destructive pattern that peaks 2011 (don't really want to go into details). In the end of the summer that year i was at my lowest . I felt forsaken and annihilated and was fighting for my place on earth. Somehow i managed to find a job and use it as a saviour boat that pulled me out from the inferno that my life was. The recovery begins slowly and it took me 5 months to step on my feet again. During that time i rediscovered nutrition and it's power of healing. Unfortunately i stop training altogether and focus mostly on my work (work that i hate in my guts). Summer of 2012 i finally begin to experience feelings long forgotten - happiness, joy, passion. They were diluted, but still better than before. Working was going very good and i got a promotion for a regional manager position (managing 10 stores). Few days after that on September 24th (1 month before my 24th birthday) the closest person in my life, the one that was there for me every second of that 24 years, my grandmother passed away. There are no words that can be put to paper or a keyboard to explain how i was feeling. The utter grief, the regret that i wasn't with her more and the unimaginable pain cast me into a whirlwind of substances abuse and self destruction. Nothing and no one can help me or stop me. I was earning alot and don't care how i spend my money. I was so skilled at what i was doing that i didn't even care about my work anymore and often went to work drugged to the max. I'll skip the next 15 months (spent then the same way - drugs, buying things that i don't need and don't have money for and hating my job sooo much) and i'll jump to NY 2013. Not sure what among the many things that happened and that i enjoyed was the culprit, but it was like someone press the Restart button on my brain. I experienced catharsis - a feeling so strong and so utterly difficult to explain that turns out my life once again, but this time for good. 2 weeks after NY i re-arranged my life, re-calculate my debts, loans, expenses and decided that i'll quit my job and live my life the way i always wanted, representing the moral values that i stand for and work along my passion .. my long forgotten passion about Fitness and Wellness. I've always wanted to make a positive impact on peoples health and fitness and start my own business by becoming a persona consultant.
So ... i'm here to share the next 12 months of my life with you guys. 12 months during which i'll work and educate my *** off. I cannot afford the rent for my fansy apartment anymore so i'll go back home and try to re-establish the connection with my parents and help them with what i can. Despite the big salary my debts and unreasonable expenses left me with a very limited budget so i'll need to tweak it alot, if i want to extract something from my efforts.
Tomorrow i'll post my workout and nutrition plan (both outlined in details) along with all my other life goals .
Hope no judging will follow my post and that i can count on you brothers for support !
PS: I'm trying to find how to attach a current picture of my physique, but saw no button ?

Hey my brother it is awesome to meet some one who is so dedicated to cleaning up. I had to restart after a long lay off and other problems. If I can ever be a listener or talk I am here. I will tell you this I am an Associate Pastor in a Church in East Alabama.You pic look awesome, whatever you are doing is working. I know one day you are going to reach your goals as long as you keep lifting till perfection. Stay cool RTR!
rickck48-Life is one final lift to Perfection!
John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for with out me ye can do nothing.

Goal: NOT there Yet, But haven't quit either!

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