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Old 09-26-2008, 10:42 PM
Algavinn Algavinn is offline
Algavinn is transforming myself and others into avatars of health.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 864

A few months ago my fiance of 3 and a half years left me. This was by far the most painful experience of my life, and in all truth she was all that mattered to me. How am I doing right now? Quite well, really. I think largely she was such a huge part of my life and who I was that having it removed forced me to be another person, on top of the shock of it all. Either way it has still taken a lot of conscious effort to keep myself from spiraling down. The biggest things for me, I think, in this have been the therapeutic effects of working to better myself. This means increased discipline, dedication, health, and aesthetic qualities through body building, mental and intellectual through meditation, spiritual, philosophical, academic, and strategic study, and many other things. Realizing that to make the most of this life and ensuring that I can grab onto every opportunity that I so desire means making myself the best person I can be. I may not have what I want right now, but I am making sure that when it comes along, I will have it.

Secondarily I cannot stand, more than just about anything else, the feeling of regret. "The saddest words of mice and men are 'it may have been' " I don't know if I have that quote accurately stated, but it stands true either way. Knowing that I did not try hard enough, and missed something that I will never have the chance of having again, or doing something that cannot be undone. These are true tragedies. With every action I keep in mind whether this is something that will cause me suffering in the future. Suffering comes from within, only pain is not under our control. I do the best to limit my suffering.

I am fairly happy, despite my loss, because there is still potential in this life. Without life there is no potential, so I continue, optimistically, even though I am not satisfied with what I have now. One source in particular that I found very illuminating and helpful was the book 'The Art of Happiness' by the Dalai Lama. This is a secular look at emotions and suffering, and how we can defeat negative emotions. It is written by an American psychologist with interviews with the Dalai Lama, so is backed by a lot of scientific study and research. I would suggest it to anyone looking to lead a happier life.
Perfection in motion. BS CPT - NPTI NASM

"We must not forget that even in the most perverted and cruel human being, as long as he is human, a small grain of love and compassion exists that will make him, one day, a Buddha." -Dalai Lama
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