Guys i really need your help and prayers!

[War5475]

Well let me get this started so you can really understand how great things are in my life at this moment.

This morning i was notified that i am being sued by a customer for what amounts to trying to help them out by going above and beyond our legal obligations.

Two of my credit card componies are holding thousands of dollars from my buisness that was conducted during december because of a improper address. This is a problem because of the volume of product we orderd vs how much we have to pay out during jan and ofcourse these were the two most used creditcard companys. So i am under severe stress trying to make the money stretch until i can get paid.

Then tonight i find out that the girl "the Christian woman of my dreams" Just does not have feelings for me. This is what is really hurting. After 30 years I finally meet the perfect woman. We match in every way. same sence of humor we like the same things. both of us are artistic. where both close to God. We fit like hand and glove. and all this time ive been trying to woo her. And she says the chemistry is not there. I cant take this after all the things ive been through in life. I finaly meet the perfect woman and i cant make it work. I dont understand why God wants to do this too me? How can he show me this woman that he knows is the type of girl i have prayed for all my life. Have prepared myself for. Have studied Gods word for too know how to treat her. To learn what kind of woman i should be looking for. All of these things. And i finaly meet her and nothing happens. I am completly attracted to her. I love apsolutly everything about her. But she dosnt have those feelings for me. I really dont understand what i have done to deserve this or what i havent done. But why whould he let me meet her, why would he bring her into my life?

Ive done alot of bad things in my life but i dont understand how i deserve this. I cant understand whats going on. Im so sick of this. I dont ask him for alot of things. Mainly I have asked him for a wife. I dont ask for lots of money or cars or a big house. I have begged him for so many years to give me a wife. Ive told him what kind of wife i wanted. She comes into my life and Bam i fall in love. How can you not when someone seems like they walked out of the bible with angles singing. I dont know why he is doing this but i cant stand it. I cant take it anymore. My heart is utterly broken. and i dont know what to do.

This is also horrible because she is such a great person she is like a best freind to me aswell. And i cant loose that as well. She dosnt want to loose me as a friend either. So i dont know what to do. I know i can never be her freind feeling the way i do. She dose so many things that just attract me to her so badly. I cant listen to her laugh without thinking how much i wish she was my wife. I told her that i would fast and pray about this for a week. I think if i fast aswell as pray God will finaly understaned how bad this hurts. I want him to take these feeling out of my heart so i can still be her freind. For this I need all of your prayers this is tearing me apart. To loose a potential love is one thing but to also loose a wonderful and dear freind in combination is horrible. I dont know why i have to suffer this. I wish God would just give me a break from all these life shaking issues.

I dont know how if i should go without food and water for a whole week. So i wanted to ask you guys If you think i could do this without endangering my life. If i cant do it this way what would be the next best thing.

Please guys i need your help and many prayers. I need strenght and most of all Understanding. I am so upset with God for letting me get into this situation. and all the while i was praying to him to not let me develope feelings for her if she wasnt the right one. I feel so lost. Please pray for me maybe he will listen to you.

Keith.

[jeffrobodean]

War - I really empathize with you and I can say from experience that I know how you feel.
God KNOWS how you feel. For some reason, he's testing you. Just don't fail Him like I did.
I too prayed for someone to share my life with. I got discouraged that He never answered and I left Him. I turned to a life involving substances that may have been naturally made, but certainly wouldn't be advised to consume in this forum! Alcohol was the least dangerous of things I took. I was a mess and leading a Godless life.
When I was at my worst, He was at His best. He sent a Godly, Christian woman to me. I really fell for her hard, and we dated for a long time. She brought me back to Him. I wasn't born-again before, but I was after her.
Then God took her away. I don't know why, but we just went our separate ways.
He then sent me to someone who didn't know Him. I helped bring her to Him. We now just had our second child. We are truly blessed.

The thing I am trying to say here is that God does not have to explain himself to us. It is not our place to know what He is up to. Just know that He loved you before you were even born and He KNEW that this would happen to you. He has a plan, and this is part of it. You may never know why, but don't get discouraged and think for a minute that He doesn't know how you feel.

I think you know the story of Jenna. I visited her and her father at Children's Hospital yesterday. He is such a strong man, because I don't know that I could not curse God for giving my daughter Leukemia. Jeff is looking at this as a blessing from God because for years he has had a stirring in his heart. Maybe God was preparing Jeff to be a minister or a witness and Christian support at the hospital for other parents going through the same thing. Maybe God was preparing him for this next step. As hard as it is to imagine, He loves Jenna even more than her own father.

As hard as it might be for you to understand, He does love you and wants you to be happy. He has a plan. You don't know what that is right now. You may never know, or maybe someday it will become clearer to you. Just know that He is preparing you for some bigger plans that He has in store for your life.

I know that it is hard to leave a relationship at such a level and then continue it at a lessor level. Perservere and trust in Him. He'll help you and show you the way.

I know this is easy for me to say - and I should be listening to my own advice. I am going through a rough time right now with my mother and sister. Our relationship is crumbling badly, and as soon as I get up enough gumption or whatever to post it here, I will because I need help. So, if you see that posting - please don't wonder why I am giving out advice and need it myself - we are Christian brothers here and that's what this site is all about.

Hang in there War. You've been an inspiration to me because I think we were at very similar health levels and I can see that if you can do it - so can I.

[kwood34]

I feel for you War. Loving someone that doesn't feel the same way back is brutal. I think it happens to everyone at one time or another. I Wish I could give you some good advice, but I can't, so I will leave that to the others. Hang in there.

[War5475]

thanks for the kind words guys. Its just hard. It would be one thing If she was just good looking or just sweet. But the fact that any Christian man would look at her be blown away not only by her looks but by her wonderful soul kills me. Its like touching heavan and feeling all the joy and love there and then being told you have to come back. Its just so creul. I dont know why i had to experiance it. I could have just not ever have met her. Why did we have to fit so well together.

Ive just got to figure out a way to salvage this freindship I dont know if it can be done. but i do know the only person that can do it is God. If he will just remove these feelings from my heart it would all be ok. He just wont seem to do it for me. Thats why im fasting and asking for your prayers if he wont listin to me maybe he will listen to you guys.

[William Ustav]

Brother, the first thing you should pray to God is to let His will be done, and second, to let that be done which is best for both you and her. Too often we pray for success, or love, etc., but at what cost? I'm not saying that you wouldn't be a good husband to this woman, but I am saying that there might be someone out there who in reality will only match with her (or live and die alone), while there might be other matches for you just around the corner that you (obviously) don't yet know of.

And aside from praying, be sure to take some time off to just meditate (while having your spirit in tune with the Holy Spirit) and not think about worries or her, or the money problem. Breathe in, breathe out. Just think about breathing, and living, and soon as you sit there in the light you'll realise that God will lead you in life, but that you already have everything you need to make life valuable.

I'll quote a part of "The Essence of Happiness" by To****sugu Takamatsu:

"The way to experience ultimate happiness is to let go of all worries and regrets and know that being happy is the most satisfying of life's feelings. Reflect back on all the progress in your life and allow the positive, creative and joyous thoughts to outshine and overwhelm and sorrow or grief that may be lingering there in the recesses of your mind. Knowing that disease and disaster (and one-sided love - Will) are natural parts of life is the key to overcoming adversity with a calm and happy spirit. Happiness is waiting there in front of you. Only you can decide whether or not you choose to experience it. Take this to heart."

http://home.luna.nl/~risu/graphics/takbo4.JPG

Be grateful in every moment, and know that the greatest gift has already been given to you by God - you are alive. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Clopin]

Keith,
I think all of us who are trying to live our lives truly submitted to Christ and his will for us sometimes means realizing that what we want for ourselves isn't what God has planned for us.

Remember what God says in Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

God's character NEVER changes. This is something we can count on and cling to. God is always working every situation for our best. I myself have had a few relationships with Christian men not work out, men that I thought at the time were the right ones for me. But, in my heart I choose to move forward and believe that God said no to those relationships because he knows the ending, he knows the WHOLE story. He knows things I cannot see right now and whenever God says no, it is because he loves us enough to save us from further pain down the road.

Here is a link to a two part sermon by Dr. Charles Stanley.
I have listened to both of these numerous times and they have been such an encouragement and eye-opener to me when I am struggling with accepting God's will.

Confronting Closed Doors - Part A (http://www.intouch.org/intouch/site.show_page?p_id=76101&p_id_from=125384&p_curre nt_date=08%2F01%2F2005&tag=DOMESTIC)

Confronting Closed Doors - Part B (http://www.intouch.org/intouch/site.show_page?p_id=76101&p_id_from=125384&p_curre nt_date=08%2F02%2F2005&tag=DOMESTIC)

[Mavrick]

so this is your "fast" War, i hope you the best with pasting this test of god!

[kprzCreation]

War, I was in the same situation you are in. I understand how you are feeling, I admire your dedication. Beating the hell out of a punching bag non stop untill it is destroyed or you are lying in the floor un able to move due to exhaustion. I mean surpass the pain untill your endorphines kick in (regergitation is not included), really really healped me deal with the feelings I had (imagining the bag is the Godless punk she liked help also).

Second, I wouldnt give up so easly. The girl I wanted to be with said to me theres no chemistry between us, but that did not stop me, I wanted this once of a lifetime dream girl and nothing was going to stop me. Romans 8:37 says we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us. We are Conquerors bro! I put my A game again and she rejects me, then I did it again, and again, and again untill finally she gives. Now we are a couple and couldnt be happier together.

What I am saying here If you want her, than take her! (no offense ladies). Romans 8:31-39 says "If Christ Is For Us, Who Can Be Against Us?" You are a Conqueror and there is no one who can oppose you, remember that.

Go now....and CONQUER HER!!!

[Adam Knowlden]

Hey bro, I understand what you mean. I get tempted to doubt God as well when I go to church and see couples, to ask why I do not have a wife. I love God totally, and want to serve Him totally, and I would be a great husband. Hey I cook, clean, and can iron /forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif. I want a wife as well, but what you have to realize is that God is not trying to mess with your head. He loves you and died for you. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

There are many things we do not understand in this life, regarding why things happend the way they do, and "what in the world is God up too in my life" is a pretty common question we all have. Believe me, its totally natural to want to doubt, its the law of the flesh.

<font color="red"> Romans 7:23
But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. </font>

However, what you must realize is that God has given you the power to overcome this. Its not like He's got victory on a string in front of you and everytime you reach God pulls it up right out of your grasp.

We have the Spirit. If we have the Spirit we also have the power to walk in the fruit of the Spirit.

<font color="red"> Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, </font>

The thing is we have to chose the fruit bro. We are branches, Christ the vine, and God the husbandman.
As the branches we have to reach for the sun! In other words, we have a choice to make, just go with the wind, or spread our branches toward the sun.

We can say, "No I'm not going to walk in the Spirit and be patient, waiting on God's timing" or we can say, "God is bigger than I am, He knows everything and sees the entire path of my life, I will be patient and trust Him".

The Holy Spirit gives us the power, but its our choice to walk in that power or our choice to walk in the flesh and resurrect that Old man.

<font color="blue"> Romans 6:6
Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. </font>

You see, we live by faith, not by sight. The Holy Spirit will not resist your will either. He's the most sensitive member of the God head. If you grieve Him, He'll back off. If you walk with Him, He'll give you victory! /forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

We want to know everything and control everything. God wants us to let it all go and just trust Him.

Now one thing is that the bible is very clear, that above all things you have to guard your heart!

<font color="blue">Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. </font>

You can not just let your feelings run wild like this, as a Christian. There have been many times I thought that I had found "the one" and come to find out we are not compatiable at all, even if we have a lot of things in common.

The bible says that God will brought the woman to the man.

That is what you have to trust. It may not be the right time for you.

Also I have resolved that if God desires me to be single, then His Will be done. Its not what I want, but when you become a Christian its not about you anymore. The hardest test to pass is learning to put our desires aside, and let God control our life.

[War5475]

Thanks for all the kind words guys. I do seem to feel better. I am saddend cause i dont know how i will ever find a woman like her. Once you get my age All of the really awsome people are married.

It would be easier if we didnt fit so wheel together. I just hope i can salvage our freindship. Maybe God will take away these feelings so we can still be freinds.

Maybe its a door that is closed to me know and will open latter. Maybe never. I do want to do his will. Its just that once you see the kind of woman God wants you to be with its hard not to want her. /forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Any way thanks guys.

Keith.

[Adam Knowlden]

God's already given us all the power we need. Its our choice to live defeated or in victory.

For example, I would not hang out with her all the time. That isn't going to help. Stay friends, but don't hang around her much. You can keep praying for God to take feelings away, but if you keep hanging around her your not going to make progress.

Let things simmer down and regain control of your heart.

[War5475]

maybe i need to take more than a week away from her.

that just makes me feel bad cause i know she thinks its her fault. But i think if i explain that to her she wont feel so bad.

[Adam Knowlden]

Yeah just say that you understand the way she feels, and that its just best if we don't hang around each other as often. I don't see how you will get over it if you hang around her a lot.

Why would she think its her fault?

If the chemistry is not there its not there. Its not really anybody's fault. I would explain that too. Keep being nice to her, and after you explain it don't bring it up to her again. Just be nice and don't hang around her as much.

[War5475]

Why would she think its her fault?


Because she just feels responsible for my pain. Thats why i told her i was going to pray and fast for a week so that God would take these feelings away from me. So we can be freinds again.

But as you said i may need to take more than a week away from her.

[Mavrick]

hey keith, you still going to come to ABC?

[War5475]

Yea you guys are part of my support group. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
I have to come here to stay focused.

I may not post as much well, because my brain is going in too many directons.

But i will definiatly be around.

[Mavrick]

Good...so only driking water...and not working out for a week....oh man! you get to have DOMS agian!!!!!!! thats what i love when i dont workout then workout agian DOMS so friggin insane it lovley!

[War5475]

Hey this is scary I found blood in my stool. Should i stop fasting or is this normal during fasting. please reply I dont know if i should go to the doctor or what.

[jeffrobodean]

It kinda depends.
Was it bright red or was it very dark - almost black?

[Adam Knowlden]

I would see a doctor. And also I don't think that is really a spiritual reason to fast bro. Also if you are fasting about her, I wouldn't have told her. Should just be between you and God.

[William Ustav]

[ QUOTE ]
I would see a doctor. And also I don't think that is really a spiritual reason to fast bro. Also if you are fasting about her, I wouldn't have told her. Should just be between you and God.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree. If it's a fast, then there's no reason you had to tell her about it.

And what kind of a fast is this? Are you completely not eating anything? In my honest opinion, that sounds a bit too extreme for just a girl. Especially considering the blood.

You don't have to destroy your body to attain spiritual fulfillment, and get over a broken heart. God will help you through this, but don't go to any extremes like this!

[jeffrobodean]

I was going to interject there as well Old School - but let it go. Mine was for another reason - and that's why I said nothing - because he could be doing it for a good, Godly reason.

I was just thinking that if he was fasting just to get God's attention and to get her off his mind and out of his heart - it could backfire.
I know if I was fasting, and feeling those pangs of hunger - that would be an additional reminder of her and why I'm doing this. I might rather focus on intense, hard core exercises to get my mind someplace else. Then hopefully, the DOMS would be a reminder of how hard you worked, not of how hard you hurt in your heart. Keep your mind busy on other things for a while.

The bottom line War - time heals all wounds bro. In time - this too will pass.

[War5475]

Guys i agree about the destroying the body part of what yall said. Thats why i asked earlier on if that could be dangerous because i dont want to hurt the temple.

This blood thing kind of scares me so i think i should stop fasting in this way.

Also the fast was only so that God would take these romantic feelings away from me. So that i could just be freinds with her. cause i dont want to loose her as a friend.

[William Ustav]

[ QUOTE ]

Also the fast was only so that God would take these romantic feelings away from me. So that i could just be freinds with her. cause i dont want to loose her as a friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

God created the universe - it'd be no match for him to take away your romantic feelings for this girl. However, I don't think God would do that. As was just said, time heals all wounds.

I can tell you, I liked a girl (I could say loved, actually) for about 2 years time - we were very good friends during that period. And then suddenly things started moving, and we even kissed. And then she suddenly said it would be better if we were just friends. I was obviously heartbroken. It took me several months to get completely over her. Of course I prayed to God to help me through the whole thing, but that was never a main issue in my life. Like everyone else, I just had to go through the hardships of a broken heart.

Here's something Hatsumi Masaaki (the guy in my sig) wrote before:

[ QUOTE ]
Gambatte (Keep Going)

Forget your sadness, anger, grudges and hatred. Let them pass like smoke caught in a breeze. You should not deviate from the path of righteousness; you should lead a life worthy of a man. Don't be possessed by greed, luxury, or your ego. You should accept sorrows, sadness and hatred as they are, and consider them a chance for trial given to you by the powers...a blessing given by nature. Have both your mind and your time fully engaged in budo, and have your mind deeply set on bujutsu.

[/ QUOTE ]

Accept this hardship as a chance for growth given to you from God /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif God works in mysterious ways, but He ties it all together in the end /forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif We can count on that! /forum/images/graemlins/cool.gif

So take my advice, and don't put this on God - even though no task is to small or too big for Him - and focus on how to deal with this yourself, with God on your side.

[War5475]

Well several years back I was so depressed because i had gone through such terrible breakups and horrible situations. And i just wanted to have a wife. More than anything. I would cry myself to sleep at night because i was so lonely.

Then one day i was struck with inspirtion. Since we are on Gods timeline and not ours i realized that i was praying for the wrong thing. I started prayeing for God to take away my need for a wife. and Bam after a couple of weeks i no longer felt so bad and my depression went away. So after that if i started feeling a little sad about not haveing a wife i would pray that prair and everthing would be great.

So after this happend I knew God would do that kind of thing if you pray about it. I just figured that if i prayed and fasted He may answer my prayer faster.

I have learned this leason too many times there is nothing more i can learn from this kind of thing. My first love after 5 years cheated on me. My second love unfortunatly was muslim so she had an arranged marriege. When i finally meet the perfect girl this had to happen. Blah. I guess the lesson is again about his time line. So the moral is nomatter how perfect anything is or what people say if its not Gods time yet it wont happen.

What confuesed me was that she was exactly what a woman of God is supposed to be. And she was unattached. I mean come on what are you supposed to do with something like that?

All these years searching for a Godly woman i finally find one that is not in a relationship. How am i supposed to feel. I guess I have just been feeling angry that i had to meet her and then to find out she is off limmits is just rough. It would have been so much eaisier to have never met her. and i could have been just fine same old guy same old problems just sad that he cant find a Good woman. Its much eaisier when you dont belive there are any good wemon left. But when you know there is thats just rough. /forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Ohh well what can u do?

[William Ustav]

You should be happy you got to know such an obviously special woman!

And remember, things happen, and they happen when you least expect it. And love often also is what you least expect it to be. My friend, a christian, for example, is 20. And he recently got a girlfriend (his first ever) that's 33, also a christian. And they moved in together, and are feeling that this is the real thing. But if you had asked my friend a year ago if he would be living with a girl 13 years older than him, he would probably think you're crazy.

You never know what comes from life! Best way is not have too many expectations.

Or you can just do what I did, start following the Way of the Warrior and say "to heck with girls 'n' stuff" /forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif Just you and your sword...

[War5475]

Man i wish i could just give up wemon. I am too weak to swear them of for good. I admire your strength. It would be so much easier if I did not have all these wants and needs. /forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif

I can do good for a while but i cant Go the reast of my life with out someone speacil. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

but i sure thank you guys for helping me see these things in the proper light.

[William Ustav]

[ QUOTE ]
Man i wish i could just give up wemon. I am too weak to swear them of for good. I admire your strength. It would be so much easier if I did not have all these wants and needs. /forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif

I can do good for a while but i cant Go the reast of my life with out someone speacil. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

I know how you feel, because I feel the same way. I too long for a woman to share life with - however, I no longer (well, I try to at least) focus on wanting a girl in my life. I have other priorities, like training and school. One day I'll have to settle down, of course, but until then I'm letting God decide when the time is right /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[l0stsheep]

[ QUOTE ]
One day I'll have to settle down, of course, but until then I'm letting God decide when the time is right /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is the best way you can look at it.

You know, I heard this story one time:(and i've said this before, but I think its fitting again)

A man needed to borrow a car from one of his buddies. His friend allowed it, and gave the man the keys to his car to borrow for a road-trip this man had to take. The road trip was going to be about 6 hours long, so the man went to turn on the radio when he got in the car so he could have something to distract him on his trip. Well, he soon found out that the radio didn't work. The car would only play CDs. Not knowing this, the man didn't bring any of his CDs, so he had to search around the car to find any CDs his friend might have. After a few minutes of searching, he found a few classical CDs. Now, this man had never liked classical music. He was a big rock fan. He loved the sound of the guitars and drums. And he was never going to pop in some classical stuff. So, he set the CDs down and continued his drive. The hours moved slowly in the silence and after a while the silence became inbearable. Reluctantly, the man popped in one of the classical CDs. He hated the music, but over time it started to grow on him. By the time he reached his destination, he had listened to all the CDs many times through. And he has been only listening to classical music ever since. He loves it.

Now, would he have ever found his love for classical music if his precious rock wasn't taken away? The love for music was still there, but what he had always thought was the best and only kind of music was taken away from him. And if you were to ask him later, I'm sure he would say that that car ride, filled with silence, is one of the best times in his life because it helped reveal the music he was supposed to be listening to all along.

Is God trying to show you your classical music?

The desire is there, the wants and needs are there. But maybe God is getting you ready for the music you were meant to listen to. And He can only do that through times of loneliness. But won't it be worth it? Since God has plans for making you happy, couldn't we look at lonely times, and hard times, as blessings? As God rolling up his sleves, and getting ready to bless us? It would be so hard to think that way, but I believe thats how we should be thinking. He doesn't want you to spend the rest of your life alone. But he doesn't want you to spend your life with just your "rock" music. He wants to show you the "classical" you were made for. He is getting you ready for that one special someone.

If loneliness is God's way of taking away our old music and giving us the music that we were meant to listen to, and if loneliness is God's way of giving us the things we were made for, don't you think its worth it?
So do I.

[War5475]

10stsheep I agree with what your saying. However i dont think it applies in this case.

Since the age of 20 9 of those years have been completly alone. Every girlfriend i have dated since even though i have only dated them for 2 to 3 monthes each. But each girlfreind tried their best ot not break up with me or tried to comeback because I treated them so good and so right and so sweet. They had never experienced anyhting like that before. They did not understand how men where really suposed to treat them. After they finally gave up because they new we wernt compatable. They have all tried to date other men. But know they all tell me how I have ruined them because they cant stand how men treat them. So they dont put up with it.

So i dont know if its somthing i need to learn. Maybe its more about timeing. Maybe Gods not ready to open that door or any door like that for yet. After the initial shock i couldnt think clearly now im doing a little better. But i just have to realize Its just not time. No matter what i feel or want its not going to work yet. Not with her . NOt with anyone.

This hurts my heart but after all He is my God and i have to follow him. Sometimes you just want to be selfish and cry and complain. Vhrist argued with God because he did not want to go to the cross but in the end he said "they will be done." This is what i have finally come too. I am not anywhere near as strong as he so it took me a little more than a few hours. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

But i just have to stay focused. And with all you guys help i can do that... THanks SO much.

[psaturn]

War, I will be praying for you.

I empathize with you.

I am 45 yrs old. Never been married. There were several women that want to marry with me but there were no chemistry and so I was not interested to be with them.

To give you my stats, I am a doctor, I have a nice job at the largest and most prestigious clinic in our area, I own a home right in town, I have a Saturn midsized station wagon (maybe that is THE problem ! I should have gotten a BMW roadster!) and on top of that, I am a great chef and love traveling!

I am still waiting.

I did have girlfriends in the past but the last one married someone else.

[War5475]

Hey P i think its a conspiracy! Man it sounds like we have the same type of lives cept i own a Electronics store and I drive a firebird. I thinks its just that nice guys finish last. /forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif I dont know what the deal is. Sometimes i think if i just treat them like trash and beat on them all the time I couldnt keep them off of me. LOL. I shouldnt say that. but thats just how i feel sometimes. I just cant seem to find any good wemon. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif All the ones at church are of cours married or in releation ships already and i cant be that guy. /forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif

SO what you gonna do?

[l0stsheep]

[ QUOTE ]
after they finally gave up because they new we wernt compatable

[/ QUOTE ]

So the girls you were with, would you have wanted to marry them? If you weren't compatable, then you should be glad that nothing went farther than dating, because that might have led to a rocky marraige. Who knows.

[ QUOTE ]
This hurts my heart but after all He is my God and i have to follow him. Sometimes you just want to be selfish and cry and complain.

[/ QUOTE ]

I understand where you are coming from here. But I think the thing to remember is that God wants you to be happy. And the question is, would the girls you already date have made you happy? I'm guessing you MIGHT say "maybe." But then again, you dont know what God has in store for them and their lives, and you don't know how they will be in a few years from now. Moreover, they might not be perfect for what God has planned for YOU.

I think we all are like the little kids that kick and scream in front of the candy at the drug store. But thank God he knows whats good for us. And thank God He knows what will make us happy.

But here's an inetersting question thing...

If God never gave you someone to be with for the rest of your life, if you died all along, would you be okay with that? After His death for you on a cross, what more does He owe you? Are all the big questions of life already taken care of?

Believe me, I struggle with that every day. We all want more, its natural. But could we learn to "know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." -Phil. 4:12

[Adam Knowlden]

[ QUOTE ]
And they moved in together, and are feeling that this is the real thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Will, maybe I am reading this wrong. I know you know that two Christians moving in together before they're married is a big problem. Maybe you can clarify here.

[ QUOTE ]
Also the fast was only so that God would take these romantic feelings away from me.

[/ QUOTE ]

The thing is the idea of a fast is to subdue the flesh, and seek God for an answer, in a selfless manner. It can be easier to seek God when you are fasting because your mind will be off of your body.

However, asking God to take away emotions via fasting isn't really what its intended for.

Christ already took all the pain we have, in the Garden and on the cross. You simply have to lay it at His feet and let it go.

Also it sounds like you just don't want to let it go to me, so you're hoping by fasting God will give you this girl. I'm not trying to be harsh War, just honest. So you're really fasting because you're upset at God for not having a woman.

Fasting is seeking His Will in a selfless manner. In other words, I'm not fasting God for you to do something for me, but rather I'm fasting to become more selfless so you can use me as you see fit. Its an act of faith!

The only thing you should desire in a fast is more of God. Also like I said depression etc, we're already free from that. There's no need to fast over that stuff.

<font color="red"> 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, </font>

<font color="green"> Romans 8:15
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." </font>

I'm not saying there's not a phase we all go through where we are depressed, but it should not be some huge obstacle very long. If it is we really need to get focused and get back on track. We have a mission to keep carrying our cross, not look back and gaze at Sodom and Gohmorrah.

We don't want to be like Lot's wife, salt that has no savor.

<font color="red"> Matthew 5:13
[ Salt and Light ] "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. </font>

The enemy will keep you distracted if you let him.

<font color="green"> 2 Corinthians 4:4
In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. </font>

Our own hearts can decieve us. We have to trust God for truth. His word says He will never leave you or forsake you.

<font color="blue">1 Corinthians 2:12
Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.</font>

Your heart will say, "God doesn't care, look no wife", but we can't trust our own heart we have to trust God's Word.

<font color="blue">Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? </font>

But the thing is we have to rise above it and we can with the Spirit's help! /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

<font color="blue"> 33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." </font>

He gave us the Comforter, but like I said we have to chose to walk in His power. The minute we decide to bask in pity or cry to God about it not being fair, the Holy Spirit backs right up and lets you have your way.

<font color="#666666"> Ephesians 4:30
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. </font>

AS soon as you give the flesh a foot hold, it will take over in a second. Its the law of sin and flesh Paul referred to. Its a battle, we have to fight. We only have one weapon, the Word.

<font color="blue"> Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. </font>

We don't want to live in a mentality that just leads to a dead stump with no life. We want spirtual minded where joy, life and peace are!

One of the best ways I've found is to just put verses on note cards, and have them with you. Have some on taped on your computer. The next time your faith diminishes or you get depressed, expel the carnal vain though immediately by reading the bible and meditating on it! More specifically find verses on your exact problem. When dealing with hard times, I study Psalms. The King had so many problems. Usually in the beginning of a chapter he is heavy in heart, then what does he do? He starts reciting all the victories God gave Israel, and by the end of the chapter we see some of the most beautiful praise to God in the bible!

<font color="brown"> Romans 8:7
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. </font>

As Romans says, once that carnal mind gets its motor turning, the law of God in your heart, will get drown out and thrown out. That is why God says to not put yourself in tempting situations. Don't even test it, its too easy to lose control.

Its the same with sexual lust, anger, ect. It starts with a thought, then we wallow in it, then the emotions get going. Once the emotions get going, the chemical reactions start and we are either depressed, mad, lustful, etc. and we find it hard to control. "The flesh" is a big chain reaction but it all starts in our mind. The key is we have the ability to cast out vain thoughts becasue of Christ. We're not slaves to our sin nature.


Tell yourself no I won't give in, and read the verses.

Here's a few you might study on joy:

<font color="red"> Psalm 30:11
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, </font>

<font color="blue"> Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. </font>

<font color="brown"> Psalm 86:4
Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. </font>

Just seach for verses on joy and meditate on them, that is what I do. If you stay focused, God's Word will fill your heart and fear will be cast out! /forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

God does not bring depression, so we know its a flesh trait, which biblically we know God has given us the power to conquer.

<font color="blue">James 1:13
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; </font>

Fasting for "stuff" is more like a work, which doesn't do anything to please God. He desires faith!

Here is what Christ said about fasting,

<font color="red"> 1"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

16"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. </font>

Fasting for the wrong purpose doesn't do anything to please God. Fasting is either a act of faith or a work, faith is the only thing that pleases God. We're justified by faith, not any work. If we are fasting as with a "deed" mentality, Christ said there is no reward.

I hope that helps out bro and ministers to you.

We're here for you, so also know you can vent here if you want and you can vent to God if you want. But I would begin taking steps to get over this obstacle right away.

First I would not hang out with that girl at all right now. Don't seek her out at all. If you run into her be nice, but don't stand around and chit chat with her.

Second, get that Word in you! Don't let your mind and heart decieve you, trust what God says above your own heart. Our hearts have a sin nature, God doesn't. He won't lie to us, our heart will to fulfill fleshly desires, which lead to a dead life filled with grief.

[War5475]

Well I hear you old school. but please understand since i started praying about this i have not asked him onece to give her to me. I have only asked that he remove the pain from my heart. To take the want away. He obviously dosnt want me to be with her. Or at the least anytime soon. I have only been pryeing for strenght, understanding, and comfort. Not onse sinse she and i had this conversation have i begged him to help creat somthing there. I know he has closed that door. I respect that. I am saddend that he did not protect me from being around her but i cant do anything about that now. I can only ask the spirit to fill me with confort and understanding.

The fast was not unlike how the jews used to shave thier heads and wear sack cloth when someone close to them died. My hopes was to show GOD my pain was great and I had hoped he would bring me close and heal my heart. Not unlike if your child cries you want to console them. But if they dont cry and dont eat you will be even sweeter and more comforting with your consoling. Ive had many girls that i broke up with and thankfully we did. I look back and it was deffinitly for the better. but this is the third that would have been very good for me no matter what angle you look at it from. I just dont want to have to do this anymore. I would rather be completly alone for the rest of my life than to have to deal with this kind hope turned to pain. I just pray that God would protect me from meeting someone like her agian just to have that door closed in my face. The past 9 years i have not been seeking any woman. I keep to my self I dont go out i dont go looking anymore. Wemon have to come into my life. Not the other way around. It just makes it bad when its someone like this. because at first your praying for answers and all the signs point to the fact that ists somthing good. and then at the last moment you find out that thats not what it is.

I have stoped the fasting because i guess with all the stress of all this lovley stuff going on in my life and the added strees of fasting has hurt my stomach. I beleive i have an ulcer. This is not being good to the temple so i have stoped. I want to be spiritually fit and strong but not at the cost of my body. because destroying either is a sin.

But with my Pryaing and fasting and studying the past coupla days. I have had alot of healing. Sure im not back to normal but im not wallowing in so much pitty. and i can atleast see somekind of reason.

I love God. I follow him. I ask for him to fill me with the spirit. help me to understand the things that happen to me. and give me the strength to see them through. Some times even the Nobel soldier gets down. I wish i was so strong i could never faulter for even a minute. But even with all the strength he has given me. Sometimes pity rears its ugly head.

I am definatly staying away from her for a while. I just dont want to be that guy. That because he is spurned cant even be freinds. Hopefully God will heal me enough so that i can still be somekind of freind to her.

But i want to thank all you guys for your prayers i know this has helped so much. I can feel it. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[William Ustav]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And they moved in together, and are feeling that this is the real thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Will, maybe I am reading this wrong. I know you know that two Christians moving in together before they're married is a big problem. Maybe you can clarify here.



[/ QUOTE ]

Nope... you read that right /forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif I don't know if this involves anything sexual (yet), as I haven't really spoken to him much at all, but yeah - they are living together in the same apartment and are actually looking for a bigger place.

But I don't know all of the circumstances around that.

Excellent advice, Adam, by the way! What you said about the Bible verse notes is great!

[Adam Knowlden]

Thanks Will!

Glad things are doing better for you War!

[RobCannella]

War just go cave man and pick her up and say "you mine!"

Could work.:) And remeber when I left for a while my now wife realized how much I brought into her life. I actually worte her a letter when I was dying in the hospital. Mailed it when I got home. (she never came to see me)A week went by and she came to my door crying and weve been closer ever since.

[War5475]

What me go Cave man like?

I just cant picture it. /forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[RobCannella]

LMAO, I figured you could. Get all kong Vs teh T-rexs.

I can see you doing the gorilla chest pound and all.