Question reguarding me & my boyfriend

[bombflower]

Next weekend I'll be going with my boyfriend and his brother and father to Missouri for a family reunion.

My mom thinks that my boyfriend and I shouldn't sleep in the same bed. She said it would be disrespectful to his family and that we're not married, etc.

I told her we sleep in the same bed all of the time anyways, especially at my house when we fall alseep.

It's not like it'll keep us from doing things we've already done anyways.

Do you think she's right about this? I don't see anything wrong with us sleeping in the same bed. Afterall, we'll be sleeping.

[WeaponX]

If his family has a seperate room set up for you then it would be disrespectful to turn it down to share a bed with him. The best thing to do is ask your boyfriend afterall he knows his family best.

[Serendipity]

Well, I agree with you but I also think your mother has a point.

Will you be staying at a motel or with family members? That might make a difference.
If you're in a motel you're not disrespecting anyone. But if you're staying in a relative's home, I can imagine one of his relatives might feel that way.

Since it's his family, I would have your boyfriend ask his family what the sleeping arrangments should be. That should do it..

[MuGeN]

HOw long have you guys been together? if its less than a year, you might as well hjave a separate room. You want to set an good example for the elders especcially, those who are more conservative in nature.

[flyskygirl]

Hi Bombflower,
Well, I kinda had the same senerio happen awhile back. But it involved my (now) sisterinlaw and my brotherinlaw.

We all went up to Minnisota to visit with his dad and extended family. We stayed with my husbands Aunt. Anyway ,my future sis and brother in law had been living together for almost 3 years at that point. When we got there the aunt made it perfectly clear that she didnt approve of "that way" (sleeping in the same bed)since it wasnt offical by God.It didnt make my sis in law very happy..she even voiced her opinion.Which really wasnt the thing to do to the Aunt!!! She put her in her spot real quick ...that she was in her house and her rules..it wasnt pretty. /forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Like the above posts said if your staying in a hotel.I wouldnt think they would expect you guys to get seperate hotel rooms but ,if your in someones home IMO,I think it would show his parents a great deal of respect for you to offer to sleep in another room, then see how they react.They might be perfectly fine about letting you guys do it..but they will at least see you were respecting thier home and wishes.

~Sky

[bombflower]

Well, my boyfriend says his family isn't going to care and his dad really doesn't care either. We're staying in some ranch house I think. One that someone in his family owns. I'm not sure how many other people will be there.

Prom night, I stayed at his house and was supposed to sleep on the couch, but I slept up in his room instead. His mom didn't seem too upset about it, but then again, she may have been.

We've been together almost 8 months now (it'll be 8 June 10).

I guess we'll have to see when we get to Missouri...

I just love falling asleep with him though & he loves falling asleep with me. It's so comfortable and I can fall right to sleep with him.

[Schlyder]

Missouri Loves Company!

[noodlejr]

i'm engaged and my dad still prefers us to sleep in separate beds when we go to visit, and we respect his wishes, simply because that is what he has asked us to do, no questions asked.

[F_Nietzsche]

[ QUOTE ]
Missouri Loves Company!

[/ QUOTE ]

LoL!

[Vito]

If they ask you to stay in seperate rooms, then you really have no choice unless you want to disrespect the family wishes. Wait and see what they have arranged for you two and go from there.
Have a fun trip.

[Dachopstix]

Lol, I've been with my girlfriend for just under 3 years now, and we still have separate bedroom whenever we go somewhere with her family /forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif I think it is a respect issue and also, some people might not be comfortable with the whole issue of sleeping in the same bed before marriage, etc etc etc.
Ummmm, to answer your question, I think it would be respectful and just plain nice of you to accept the separate bedroom and sleep apart (besides, y'all can have some mischievious fun at night, heeheehee) /forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[hard2picture]

I feel the truth hurts.....and it will always come to light, regarless of the time frame it takes to surface. Sleeping in the same room shouldn't be any concern of any of the family members. I do understand that it is their home, but you have been sleeping in the same bed for a long time. Why should you convert on what you feel is normal and right. So they either have to deal or get done in.

[PurposeDriven26]

[ QUOTE ]
I feel the truth hurts.....and it will always come to light, regarless of the time frame it takes to surface. Sleeping in the same room shouldn't be any concern of any of the family members. I do understand that it is their home, but you have been sleeping in the same bed for a long time. Why should you convert on what you feel is normal and right. So they either have to deal or get done in.

[/ QUOTE ]

Completely disagree with this logic. Why should you convert? Because you are their GUEST!!! With this logic, if I felt comfortable walking around naked at my house, should I do it at somebody else's too? /forum/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
I also have to disagree with the whole "ask your boyfriend" route too. I dated a girl for three years and whenever I stayed at her parents house, she told me that it was cool to sleep in her bed. After a year and a half, her mother finally asked me to sleep on the couch instead of her daughters bed and it caused a big arguement between my gf and her mom. My advice is to just ask your bf's mom "where am I sleeping tonight". Problem solved.
Also, just to let everyone know...this happened before I rededicated myself to the Lord. When I look back at my decision to sleep together with my gf before marriage, I can see all the problems that it caused. I also think that it was the biggest reason why we're not together anymore.

[Adam Knowlden]

Bomb,

there are certain aspects of relationships that are only to be exposed within the covenant of marriage.

Sharing your bed with your significant other is one of those things.

You also have to understand the impression it creates.

You are publically stating that you are sleeping with your boyfriend.

[TheFreightTrain]

[ QUOTE ]
Bomb,

there are certain aspects of relationships that are only to be exposed within the covenant of marriage.

Sharing your bed with your significant other is one of those things.

You also have to understand the impression it creates.

You are publically stating that you are sleeping with your boyfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well put! /forum/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[bigpoppadiesel]

basically it comes to whats more important to you, what you want, or ,if your planning on spending the rest of your life with this kid, what his family thinks of you. i know in my family people still dont like inlaws over things that happened 30 years ago. first impressions are very hard to overcome.